Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time. I felt kind of pretty when I got ready for work today so I took a selfie. Then when I looked at it I cringed (as I usually do). So I made it black and white and then I felt like I looked kind of pretty again.
So I look ok in black and white, or in bad lightning. My body was made for another time too, for a time when women were softer, rounder. Maybe it's my German heritage but I was built to be a bar maid in lederhosen. Cleavage for days but hide the stomach and arms lol.
Why are we all so critical of ourselves? I ask as I adjust my too short sleeves down over my upper arms for the 15 thousandth time tonight. I mean if we're healthy and happy and we can do everything we need to do why is it so awful that my arms aren't toned. I gave birth to 3 amazing human beings why do I absolutely hate my stomach and my stretch marks? Why do I always feel self conscious about my stomach or the fact that those 3 amazing humans separated my abdominal muscles so that I may always look a little pregnant?
I wish I could just truly be comfortable in my own skin. Some days I love me but lately those days are few and far between. Most days lately I cringe when I see myself, or when I think about myself too much, and then I just want to hide in the dark cave that is my bedroom and not see or talk to anyone.
But I guess I'll leave it at that, try to see myself through a softer lens... And maybe in black and white.