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  1. 4 points
    David entered the office with his briefcase in one hand and his full cup of coffee in the other, just as Adrian walked around the out of the office looking back over his shoulder into the office and crashed into David causing David to spill his coffee all over himself. "Oh shit, Dave buddy. I'm...." David swung his briefcase, crushing into the side of Adrian's face spraying the wall with blood. Raising his briefcase up over his head, he brings it crashing down on top of Adrian's head, raising it again, smashing down, raising it... "My..." smashing down as Adrian crashed back into the wall "name...." raising it... "is...." smashing down... "David..." raising it as Adrian slides down the wall leaving a bloody trial... "not...." smashing down... "Dave..." raising it... "you..." smashing down... "stupid..." raising it.... "son..." smashing...... "Oh shit, Dave. I'm so sorry. I didn't see you there. Are you OK?" Adrian asked as he caught David's arm. "I didn't mean to get your coffee all over you," Adrian said, looking around for something to clean the coffee off of David with. David is shocked back into the present and looked down at his jacket, eased his arm from Adrian's grasp, brushing the coffee off his jacket. "It's OK, Adrian. Don't worry." At least he wore a dark jacket today. He worked his way around Adrian. "Are you sure you're going to be OK Dave?" Adrian asked as David walked past him. "Is there anything I can do?" "No no, Adrian. Don't worry. I'm fine" David said, Asshole! he thought. He continued on through the office to his cubicle. When he got to his desk, he sat down with a shake of his head. "Stupid people. Why can't he watch where they're going", he grumbled to himself. Finally! Done! Weekend! David thought as he shut down his computer and pushed his keyboard tray into his desk. He stood up, picked up his briefcase and started to walk out of his cubical. He stopped and let Barbara and Susan walk past, the both of them lost in their talk about what they will do this weekend, too lost to notice David. He stepped out behind them and followed them to the door of the office. David kept his eyes on the floor while he thought about what he might do over the weekend. He saw the door open by the women and kept walking through, only to get caught in the head by the door, knocking his glasses off. Barbara turned and reached out to David, "Oh Davey, I'm..." David balled up his fist, shot it straight out and connected with Barbara's nose, feeling the bones of her nose crunching under his fist causing her to collapse to the floor. He pulls his foot back and gives her a vicious kick to the head. He pulls his foot back again, kicking her viciously in the head, picking up his foot he stomps down splatter blood across the floor, he lifts his foot again and stops down. He lifts his foot.... "Watch..." he stomps down... "what..." he lifts his foot, blood pooling around him.... "the..." stomps down, crunching bones in her skull... "fuck..." lifts his foot.... "you..." stomps down... 'are... " lifts his foot... "doing..." stomps down... "you..." lifts his foot... "stupid...." stomps... "Oh Dave. I'm so sorry. Are you OK?" she said as put her hand on his arm. "I didn't know you were behind us." David shrugged Barbara's hand off his arm in shocked manner, "It's OK. Don't worry. It's nothing," he said as he adjusted his glasses. "It's fine. Don't think about it." "Are you sure Dave,": she said as she reached out to him. "Is there anything I can do?" "No, no. I'm fine," he said as he walked around Barbara, "It's OK, Barbara. I should have been paying attention. Don't think about." He left the building, My name is David, not Dave and pay attention to what you're doing you stupid bitch. What an idiot! he thought to himself. "Good evening. How are you?" the lady at the door asked him. David looked at her, "I'm fine. I would like a table for one." "Sure, not a problem. Would you like a seat in our restaurant area or in our bar..." "If I wanted to sit in the bar I would have asked for the bar. Can I just have a table for one please?" David responded curtly. "Sure, not a problem. Follow me please" the hostess said with a smile. She turned and led the way in to restaurant area. When she reached a table, she turned and looked at him with a smile, "Is this OK?" "Yes. This will do," David said as he took a seat at the table. The hostess handed the menu to David, "Can I get you a drink?" David looked down at his menu, "Yes, I would like a gin and tonic." The hostess smiled, "OK. I will get that for you. Your server, Michael, will be right with you." She came back a few minutes later and placed the gin and tonic on David's table, "Enjoy your meal." The server stepped up to the table, "Hi. My name is Michael. I'll be taking care of you this evening. I see that Rachel got you your drink. Are you ready to order, or do you need a few min...." "Yes. I'm ready. I would like the T-bone steak. I'd like it rare. I want a baked potato and the steamed mixed vegetables. For an appetizer, I want the Caesar salad, but I don't want parmigiana cheese, and I want the dressing on the side." Michael smiled and listened to David. "OK, so you would like the T-bone steak, rare with the baked potato and steamed vegetables, and you like to start off with the Caesar salad with the dressing on the side and no Parmesan cheese." David kept his head down, "Yes, thank you." David listened to all the conversations that were going on around him. These people. They are just so ignorant. They just don't understand. he thought. A few minutes later, Michael appeared back at the table and placed the Caesar salad down and then placed the small dressing bowl down next to the salad. "Is there anything else I can get your right now sir?" Michael asked. David picked up his fork and looked down at his salad and saw croutons in it. He gripped his fork in his hand and looked up at Michael. "I didn't ask for croutons." "I'm sorry sir," Michael said pleasantly. "I can get you another salad for you if you wou...." David swung the hand up that had the fork in it and embedded it in Michael's chest, "Did I say I wanted croutons!" He yanked the fork out. "I..." drove the fork into Michael's throat "didn't..." yanked it out... "say..." drove it in again... "I..." yanked it out.. "wanted..." drove it in... "god..." yanked it out... "damn...." drove it in... "croutons..." yanked it out... "on..." drove it in... "my..." yanked it out... "stinking...." drove it in again. David followed Michael to the flow continuing to plunge his fork into Michael as he went while he screamed at him. People ran away shocked at the carnage created by David. After minutes of driving the fork repeatedly into Michael, David stopped and looked around wild eyed, his breath heavy in his chest. He saw that he was surrounded by police officers with guns trained on him. "Put the weapon down sir." one officer said. David looked down at his blood covered hand, then at his blood covered body, then looked up at the officer that spoke to him, "But, it wasn't my fault. He didn't listen to me. None of them listen to me," he said as he dropped the fork. "They deserved it." "What do you mean they deserved it?" the officer asked. "Who are they?" "You're one of them, aren't you," David said as he slowly reached for the fork again, only to be tackled from behind and pinned to the ground. "You have the right to remain silent and refuse to answer questions. Anything you say may be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to consult an attorney before speaking to the police and to have an attorney present during questioning now or in the future. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you before any questioning if you wish. If you decide to answer questions now without an attorney present, you will still have the right to stop answering at any time until you talk to an attorney. Knowing and understanding your rights as I have explained them to you?" the officer said as he cuffed David. "Yes I do, but I don't understand why I'm being arrested," David said. "If he would have listened to what I ordered, and didn't put those croutons on my salad, I wouldn't have stabbed him." "I understand sir." the officer said. "Why don't we go down to the station to talk about this." BLAM, BLAM, BLAM. the gavel banged. "David Rider, you have been found guilty of second degree murder of Michael Phearson and hereby sentenced to 15 years on prison," the judge said. David is taken away smiling. (....4 years later) "Mr. Rider. Can I ask you a question?" the reporter asked from outside David's cell. David looked up at the reporter. "Yes you may," he said with a smile. "Mr. Rider. You killed a fellow inmate. You said it was because he didn't call you David. Is this true?" "Yes it is. He called me Davey. My name isn't Davey, it's David." "Isn't that a bit of a ridiculous excuse for killing someone?" David looked at the reported. "I've killed thousands of people. I've killed them thousands of ways. No reason for killing somebody is ridiculous. People will start to learn once you start killing them." The reporter looked shocked. "You've killed thousands of people?" An evil grin crossed David's face. "Yes. I've killed you three times just now. Each way different. I have bashed your head into my prison bars until your face was nothing but a bloody pulp. Then I pulled you in and wrapped my fingers around your through and slowly squeezed the breath out of you. Lastly, I used my spoon here," David lifted his spoon, "and I took out your throat and watched you bleed to death while I held you up." The blood drained from the reporter's face. "Uhm, thank you Mr. Rider. That's all I need for now. If I have any more questions, may I contact you again?" "If you dare" David said with a big grin on his face. I would like to thank @Squarepeg for giving me the idea for this story with the his post in Joshua Deeds I hope to write more, expanding on this story and also other stories and poems. Please feel free to leave comments.
  2. 4 points
  3. 3 points
    This was hard... lol I've obviously never done this before so be patient with me while I attempt to figure it out. Technology hard... Cave painting easier... Sorry about the music in the background, like I said I'll maybe get better at this lol.
  4. 3 points
    Not too lewd, but would still advise caution on public computers. There was very little soft or gentle about Logan. She was coming to realize this. With a hint of a growl in his voice and eagerness in every move of his powerful hips, her breath was coming in short, gasping groans, her mind going blank as she crested, fingers digging into the hard muscles of his shoulders, urging him on. Mouth hard on her neck, she felt his hips quicken, followed by heavy grunt as he comes with her, bodies entwined in the shade of a great oak. Their breath keeping time together, as their bodies relax, the chill seeping in as the sun sets. Kissing the hollow of his throat as she tries to curl in closer to his delicious heat, he strokes her back, the simple contact arousing even as it calms. "Alright baby girl, lets get back to bed." A smug little smiles tugs on his lips as she makes no move to disengage, her small, content sighs stroking his ego as skillfully as her body stroked him to climax. Nevertheless, he wanted a bed, and the longer they stayed there, the less likely they were to find one. When a gentle nudge produced little beyond a curled lip and half-hearted snarl, he finally picks her up and drops her on the torn rag that used to be her shirt. Brushing off his pants, he pulls them on before looking over and seeing her flat-eyed glare. Crouching in front of her, he holds up an index finger and grins. "No yelling, no grumbling, and I'll carry you back." The small tilt of her head was only indication she even heard him, until she held up an index finger. Touching the others nose at the same time, he smirks and finds his shirt, tossing it to her to wear while he tracked down her pants. Finding the soft, supple leather in the bushes, he starts back to her, the feel in his hand and remembering the way they had hugged her curves made his mouth water all over again. No longer as thin and boyish as when she arrived, having plenty of food and work to keep her toned, she had filled out into being a perfect chewtoy. One he was eager to sink his teeth into again. He found her standing, and more or less cleaned up, the torn and soiled shirt discarded. Wearing his shirt, almost comically long on her, she reached for her pants, shimmying them up over her hips with a little wiggle that did no favors to his self-control. Unwilling to wait any longer, he scoops her up and trots back toward camp, his footing sure in the deepening indigo twilight. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Slipping into their simple, shared cabin, Logan takes a deep breath, smelling the cold ash of the fireplace and something slightly out of place. Dropping Cyra on the bed he prowls the room until he spots the small meal box and note, the faintest scent of sweet perfume telling him Jonathan had come by. Reading quickly, he gives a small snort and brings the box back to bed, where Cyra had sprawled out, leaving him little room. "Jonathan left you dinner," he says, considering where to sit, grumbling a little, "take up lot of room for someone so little." When she simply settles in deeper, he sets the box to the side and hauls her up and off, setting her on her feet in front of him as he takes a seat on the edge of their shared bed. Her eyes still closed, she gives a wide yawn, hair disheveled in a way that soothed and excited him. When she makes no move to undress or get back in bed, he struggles a little between annoyance and amusement, pulling her close enough to tug the oversized shirt up. The faint scent of her trapped in the fibers tickled his nose, a teasing possession that wrapped around his voice, declaring she was his, the same lingering smell on his skin, marking him as hers. His hunger was a warm ember, settling between his legs as he nibbles and nips at the soft skin of her belly, her arms lifting as he draws the shirt further up. Lips drawn to the round swell of her bare breasts making her gasp as his tongue finds the hard nub. Savoring the taste, his mouth pulls gently, drawing small, furtive sounds as she discards the shirt, his hands dropping to settle at her waist. Her fingers tangling in his hair, she pulls a little, tilting his head up. Her eyes were open now, crystalline in their purity, bright with her excitement, she lowers her mouth to his, holding nothing back as she lets him feed her hunger. The fingers at her waist drop to the top of her tight leather pants, breaking the kiss only to watch the supple leather peel away from her pale, shapely hips, exposing a mouthwatering expanse of soft flesh, his for the taking. Her hips swaying as he works the pants slowly down her legs, her impatient, annoyed huff making him smirk as he enjoys the way the pants mold to her body, taking a moment to appreciate the shape of her legs as the thin leather is tossed aside. Taking in all of her taut, enticing curves, she ignites the smoldering ember, looking him in the eyes as she straddles his lap, arms loose around him as she brushes full lips over his neck, feeling the steady strength of his heartbeat as she presses close, breath mingling in the cool air. "Take me," the words a pleading command. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ After her hunger was satisfied and the simple meal consumed, Logan contemplated the shapeless bit of leather that lay where it had been thrown earlier. "Where did you get the idea for those pants, anyway? Wouldn't offer much protection," Logan mused, idly stroking her hair. "Oh, hmm, Jonathan mentioned tight leather would be good for riding horseback, thought I would try it," she replies, yawning a little as she tries to cuddle in closer. Logan froze hearing Jonathan's name, tucking her in closer, unsure if his shaking hand was from anger or amusement as he resumed stroking her hair, nearly black against her pale skin. "What were his exact words, baby girl?" "We were by the horse line and I just dropped Jake off when he said, umm, 'a soft, supple leather pant is best if you're going to be riding the beast' and gave me name of leather worker…" Cyra trailed off with a yawn, drifting off in spite of the slight shaking as Logan fought to contain himself. "Remind me to, ah, thank Jonathan tomorrow," he whispered, voice strained. With a small, innocent smile, she just nods and falls asleep in his arms.
  5. 3 points
    I will try to post positive things here from time to time, despite my cynical nature. The changes weight loss causes necessitates adjustment to how one dresses. It can be bittersweet. Last week, I had to put away a pair of Levi's I got a great deal on at a thrift store, and of course, the goal is to never wear them again. They were actually too long, but I learned how to hem with them. The process took all day and no less than two trips to the craft store, but it worked out pretty well. I was actually rather proud of the job. Now, I have a perfectly good pair of personally modified jeans that I can't use. However, I have almost a full wardrobe that's a size down, and while I'm not ready for the tops yet, I found a pair of jeans in my storage that fit great. ...for all of a week. The new jeans are already getting loose. While it's awesome to have such a tangible sign of progress (when I look in the mirror, I still don't see a difference), I'm going to be annoyed when I have to buy a whole new set of clothes. I suppose I have time to prepare, though.
  6. 3 points
    Come all ye holidays, days of worship and times of feasts. Come all ye people to celebrate, worship and to eat. Come all ye spirits the living, deceased and the fae. Harken to our windows, tables and doorways. Making merry, popping cherries and rejoicing as we feast. No year is quite complete without a gathering of all people near and far. They set away their differences and embrace each other as they are. Come all ye seasons long or short and tarry with us a while. Less for sleeping and more for leaping as gaily we dance within Life's flow. Thank thee kindly Father Time and Mother Earth for granting us existence for a moment more.
  7. 3 points
    I love photography. I love taking pictures of many things, some I'm good at, others...not so much. The one thing I've always enjoyed capturing on film/pixels is people. Portraits, candids, close ups and...nudes! Yes, I know, shock horror, a man who likes taking photos of naked ladies. Damn right! But, not for the reasons your dirty little minds are thinking. Honestly, it's nothing to with any sexual aspect that most people assume goes along with photographing the naked female body. Or the male naked body for that matter. I'm crap at talking to people. Really, ask anyone on here who I've met in person, I'm always the quietest in the group. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company and I do join in, it's just that I try to stay as much in the background as possible without appearing rude because that's where I feel more comfortable. That isn't an option when you're shooting one on one with someone who isn't wearing any clothes! Communication is key, and that's one reason why I do it, in an attempt to improve my small/big talk. Then there's the aesthetics. The human body is beautiful and fascinating. Yes, in a sexual way, you filthy minded buggers, but not for me while I'm behind the camera. The shapes, lines, colour, shadows, highlights, the way the arms and legs connect to the torso, the flow of the neck as it stretches toward the head, everything about it holds a visual fascination for me that I love to capture. Size and age are unimportant to me, too. Well, the subject does have to be over the legal age, obviously! But, other than that, looks, age and size don't come into it. Everyone is beautiful, in their own way, and I like to capture it and prove it to them, whether it's in a portrait or with their boobs or bum out. Anyway, on to the point of this blog. As well as taking pictures, I like to show them off, too. So, to keep the forum relatively clean, visually speaking, I have been allowed to create a club where I can post my art nude images without - hopefully - offending anyone. But I obviously would like people to look at them so would you like to join my club? If you do (and I hope you do) then all you have to do is send me a message and I will send you an invite to join What We See and then you can see what I see.
  8. 2 points
    I've mentioned elsewhere within The Northlands that I created a character called Joshua Deeds. He came from a short story I once told Autumn, made up on the spot after she requested I tell her a "Jamie story". There is a thread in The Writer's Den dedicated to quotes I have come up with, credited to Joshua, that will hopefully one day be the backbone to a second tale about him. Anyway, I am attempting to retell the original Joshua Deeds story, The Coin. I never gave him a name in the first telling of this, so I'm trying to keep it out of this version as well in an attempt to keep it as close to the original as possible. Here are the first few paragraphs that I have written this very morning. I hope you enjoy and please let me know if you'd like to see the rest. I have to go and make lunch now. There was once a young man, average, nothing special, but he was happy. He had a good job, he had good friends. He had a good life. He spent his time, when not working, doing the things he liked to do. Going out with his friends, staying in with his friends, staying in alone (he liked his own company, as well as that of others), walking to stay fit, lounging around watching movies on a Sunday, and many other things. But, there wasn't anyone in his life he could share these things with, at least nobody special. Yes, he had his friends who he could confide in, but he found he could never fully open up to them, never reveal his deepest thoughts, desires, worries and concerns. Strangely, this was something he didn't realise about himself until it was pointed out to him in rather bizarre fashion. The workday mornings followed pretty much the same routine. He got up, washed, dressed and had his breakfast before leaving his small flat to take the bus to work. On his way to the bus stop he would get a newspaper and a chocolate bar from the same shop, he'd catch the same bus and get off at the same stop a short distance from his office and call in to the coffee shop next door for the same cup of Americano which was , sometimes, already brewed and waiting for him before he even opened the door. On this particular morning, as he walked up to the door of the news shop where he bought his paper and chocolate, he noticed something glinting on the pavement in the weak autumn sun. He stooped to pick it up and found it was a gold coin with strange markings minted in to it. It was unlike any coin he'd ever seen before and it seemed to shine even when his body cast a shadow upon it. On one side the image appeared to be that of two hearts intertwined in such a fashion that they could never be separated, at least that's what it looked like to him. On the other was the profile of a rather intimidating looking man, bald, heavy jowled, with small piercing eyes. The young man continued to examine the coin as he walked into the shop to purchase his items. The young woman behind the counter, who worked the morning shift in the shop and knew the young man by sight if not by name, greeted him as she always did and, when she noticed the coin, remarked upon it's beauty. “Yes,” said the young man, “it is quite eye catching, isn't it. I just found it outside.” “Where's it from?” “I have no clue. I've never seen one before. I'll probably do a bit of research tonight when I get home. Anyway, have a good day. I'll see you tomorrow,” and with that he paid for his things and left the shop to catch the bus to work. The bus pulled up to the stop just as he approached and he stepped into the belly of the packed beast, paid his fare and found a seat next to a pretty brunette who was fresh face among the familiar crowd of commuters. As he was about to put the gold coin in his coat pocket she said, “That's beautiful. I've never seen one like that before.” The young man looked at her and smiled before replying, “ Yes, it's unusual. I found it just now, on the pavement outside the newsagents.” The coin appeared to be a little ice-breaker and he and the pretty brunette chatted for the entire journey, until the young man had to disembark. “See you tomorrow?” he asked. “I'll be here,” she said. The young man watched as the bus pulled away into the morning traffic and turned towards the building where he would spend the next eight hours of the day. He was just about to walk through the door when he remembered his morning brew. “ I can't function in there without my bean,” he muttered to himself and turned around and headed towards Red's Diner. He pushed his way in and there was Red, the owner of the small coffee house and eatery, standing behind the counter, arms folded across her chest, looking very annoyed. “ You forgot me?” she asked. “And here I thought I was the most important part of your day.” “Sorry, Red. I'm a little distracted this morning.” He fished the gold coin from his coat pocket to show her. “ I found this this morning outside the shop where I get my paper. Someone on the bus noticed it and we got talking. I think she likes me,” he smiled broadly as he put the coin back in his pocket, not noticing the slightly pained expression that crossed Red's face. His coffee was already made and waiting for him and he picked it up to take a sip. “Perfect, as always. Much like yourself, Red,” he said. “That'll be £2.50,” she replied. He chuckled, handed over the right change and turned to leave. “See you at lunch,” he called over his shoulder, and left for the office.
  9. 2 points
    How do you know when you spend too much time online? When you have dreams about people you only know online... I just had a dream that I met @hirondelle because somehow we were in the same town and we ran into eachother and were like omg!!! And then we hung out and took selfies and laughed and had a wonderful time and@Timberwolfwas jealous cause he wasn't there. And it was so happy and then I woke up and was sad cause it was only a dream and I couldn't go back to it. And then I realised it was 3:33 am which is creepy cause it's the witching hour and now I can't fall back asleep. And then I started over analysing my life because that's what your brain does when you wake up in the middle of the night right? And I felt pathetic because I have no life outside of my family and I haven't seen my best not online friends in months because I'm depressed and I work nights and live in another world from the rest of people who work in the daytime (aka sleeping hours). And I feel like I spend my alone time lately talking to myself on here cause everyone else has a life and I'm the only one on here. And then of course I start thinking about my fucked up excuse for a relationship and I get depressed and angry and I feel like I'll never truly be happy. And then I wonder do I even deserve to be happy? I think I did something truly awful to someone in a past life and I'm being punished for it. And then I think well maybe if I ended the fucked up relationship I could wake up next to someone and not be alone but the thought of waking up next to someone not him kind of repulses me and I don't want to be with someone solely because I don't want to wake up alone. And then my hand starts to go numb because I either have carpal tunnel or something is fucked in my back and it momentarily distracts me as I try to shake/stretch my hand out of pins and needles and now I realise I'm rambling like an idiot but that's what I made this blog for so I could ramble and not bother the rest of the board so it's ok... right? And earlier tonight my daughter saw me on here and was like who are these people? Are you whoring around online with random guys? Where's the shower guy? (Cause I was on voice chat with @MaleConfessor one time and I was in the bathroom part hiding from them because they wouldn't stop asking who i was talking to and part because I was getting ready to take a shower before work) and then she was teasing me because for her people online are never who they say they are and I tried to explain I've known these people forever and they're awesome and we met on a book message board so then she said I was a geek lol and I was like yeah so... And then my son was like you should talk to Spike (guy he works with that I've met like twice but they insist I flirted with and I probably did but it wasn't flirting with intent) cause Spikes looking. And then my daughter went back to me whoring around online and poor Garrett and ugh... And this is a tiny glimpse into my head and why I my brain is never still...
  10. 2 points
    Mindy sat in the passenger seat, looking out the window. "Why are you going this way, Sean?" "You know why we're going this way," Sean said with a little exasperated. "I know we were supposed to go down highway 13, but it was closed for construction back in Maplethorpe. The signs said to follow country road 586, which is what we are on now." Mindy turned and looked at Sean. "But, it's been ages since we've seen anything. No other town, no building, nothing. Are you sure you aren't lost?" "Of course, we aren't lost," Sean said with a roll of his eyes. "And it hasn't been ages, it's only been about an hour." Sean looked over to Mindy, "You have to pee again, don't you?" "That's beside the point," Mindy said. "Have you seen anything for the last hour?" Sean pointed to side of the road, "There's a farm over there. You can see the silo", he said with a bit of exasperation. "Would you like me to go up there and see if they will let you use their toilet?" Mindy shook her head, "No, I don't have to go yet." 30 minutes later... "OK, Sean. I really need to go now," Mindy said with a bit of guilt in her voice. Sean chuckled, "OK, but it will have to be on the side of the road." "I know, I know," Mindy said, a bit exasperated. "It's not like this is the first time. Just pull over. OK?" "OK, OK.", he said as he checked his rear-view mirror, then checked the left and right side of the road. "There's nobody around, and this looks like as good a place as any." he said while he pulled to the side of the road. "Do you need me to come out and assist you?" Mindy slapped Sean in the arm, "No, you sicko perv. You just stay here in the car and keep the car running. I shouldn't be long." Mindy got out of the car, closed the door, and walked over to the rear tire, pulled her pants down as she squatted down and begins to pee. Suddenly she heard something, and looked up into the trees off to the side of the road. She thought she something, and finished her business quickly, pulled her pants up and quickly got back into the car. "Sean, did you see anything?" Sean looked at Mindy confused. "Did I see anything where?" "Over there! In the trees," she said as she pointed at the trees off to the side of the road. Sean looked off into the trees where Mindy pointed. "No, I don't see any..." suddenly, a man dressed in dirty overall and a flannel shirt and brown hair sticking up wildly all over carrying an ax came charging out of the trees towards the car. Sean quickly put the car into gear and floored it only to have the car stall out. He frantically reached for the keys twisting them hard as the engine chugs when the man runs into the car, as he brought the ax down biting into the trunk of the car. Just then, the car's engine caught hold and started up, Sean crushing the accelerator to the floor. The car kicked up stones and dirt as it's tired spun and the car lurched forward, the tires screamed as they caught the pavement and Sean and Mindy took off down the road. "Who the fuck was that Sean?" Mindy screamed at him. "Sean! Who the fucking hell was that?" "I don't know! I don't know! Fuck, Mindy! Calm the fuck down!" Sean yelled back at her. Mindy started hitting Sean in the arm, "Don't yell at me! What the hell is going on? Did you do this?" "No, I didn't do this, " Sean responded. "I didn't do this, and stop hitting me," he said to Mindy as he turned his head to look at her as he steered the car around a bend in the road. "Sean! Look out!" Mindy yelled at him. Sean looked up, slammed on the brakes, bring the car to a screeching halt a few yards from five pickups parked across and road. A man with rough looking jeans, a red and blue checked flannel shirt, a long unkempt beard and hair stood in front of the pickups. He waved to Sean and Mindy as he yelled "Get out of your car. I need to discuss something with you." "What's going on Sean?" Mindy said on the verge of being hysterical. "I don't know," Sean said as he shook his head no at the man and he eased the car into reverse. "Don't try to back up," the man said as four more pickups pulled in behind the car. "I need you to listen to what I have to say first." "Sean...?!" Mindy started to cry. "Shush, Mindy. Stay here. Let me talk to him and see what it wants," Sean said as he tried to sound angry to hide the fear in his voice. "Don't do it, Sean. Don't do it," Mindy cried. Sean opened the car door and got out, standing behind it. "What do you want?" "I need you both to get out of the car and to step away from the car. Don't try to run, just come closer to me," the man replied. Sean shook his head, "Why should I trust you? I don't know you." "Because if you don't," the man lifted his left arm and three men in each of the nine pickups stood up and lowered rifles aimed at Sean and Mindy, "my men will kill you both." Sean looked at the men in front of him, then the men behind him and shook his head. He stuck his head in to the car, "Get out of the car Mindy. He wants us both out of the car and away from it to talk to us. If we don't, he's going to kill us," Sean said, the fear plain in his voice. Mindy got out of the car and they both started to walk towards the man. "Shit, I forgot the keys," Sean said, and he turned back towards the car. "Oh, don't do that," the man said as one of his men got in the car. "Just keep walking towards me until I tell you to stop." Sean turned back around with fear and anger mixed in his face. "What the hell is going on here?" he said. The man smiled, "Just stay calm, and everything will become clear shortly. Just keep walking towards until I tell you to stop." Mindy grabbed Sean's hand and they both started to walk forward as they watched the man. When they were ten feet away from the man, he told them to stop and he lowered his left arm and the men in the trucks lowered their rifles. "My name is Micah," he said and gestured to the men around him, "and these are members of my flock." Sean tried to look hard at Micah, "What do you want with us, Micah?" "You know, it's very rude to not offer your name after a name has been offered to you." Micah said with a smirk on his face. "Oh, and don't lie. I'll know if you lie." "My name is Mindy, and this is Sean," Mindy said with a tremor in her voice. "Shut up! We don't have to tell him anything," Sean said angrily to Mindy. 'Now don't be rude, Sean," Micah said, smiling. "She is just being polite. Something I think you might need to learn. Thank you, Mindy. That was very kind of you." Micah waved his right arm. "So now to your question, Sean." three bags were placed on the ground between Micah, Sean and Mindy. "You two are going to camp here tonight. Don't worry, in one of those bags is a tent. It's supposed to be a one-man tent, but I suppose you two don't mind being so close. Any way, you two are to camp here tonight. In the morning, you are to start walking. Three days north," Micah gestures to the north, "is the border." Micah gestures to the west, "Four days to the west is another border," Micah gestures to the east, "Four days east is another border," Micah gestures to the south, "And three days south is that last border. You have enough food in those bags for two days for each of you. You will also find a knife and a revolver with five rounds in it. You just have to make it to any one of the borders. Once there, you will find a car with all the paperwork that you need to sign to have it in your name. It's that simple." Micah said, the smile never left his face. "That's all?" Sean asked. He looked to Mindy, "We can do this. It will be easy! Remember that hiking trip we did last summer? We went hiked for two weeks." Mindy nodded to Sean. "Yeah, we can do..." "Oh, I forgot one very important thing, you to," Micah interrupted them, his smile turned to a cruel grin. "At noon, tomorrow, my flock and I will start hunting you. If we find you, we get to kill you Sean, and Mindy gets to become part of my flock’s breeders." "What?! No way! We aren't doing this. Bring our car back." Sean yelled at Micah. The cruel grin never left Micah's face. "You should start setting up your tent," he said as he looked to the sky. "It will be dark soon." Micah turned and walked to the center pickup. "I recommend getting an early start tomorrow. The earlier you start, the longer you will have to run. The longer you have to run, the harder it will be for my flock to find you." "Wait!" Sean pleaded. "How many of your flock will be following us?" Micah stopped getting into his pickup. "Well, you saw nine pickups. So, I guess that means there will be nine pickups looking for you tomorrow." "That's not fair. How are we supposed to outrun a pickup?" Sean said. Micah's cruel grin turned to a kind smile. "Well, I suppose that is a bit unfair. Nine pickups against two people on foot. OK. I'm feeling generous. I will cut you a break. The first day, there will only be four pickups. The second day, there will be six pickups. The third day, there will be eight pickups. The fourth day, there will be ten pickups. Sleep well. Hopefully you won't see us tomorrow," Micah said, then closed his pickup door. All nine pickups drove away leaving Sean and Mindy standing in the middle of the road. Keep an eye out for part 2. Thank you for reading.
  11. 2 points
    Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time. I felt kind of pretty when I got ready for work today so I took a selfie. Then when I looked at it I cringed (as I usually do). So I made it black and white and then I felt like I looked kind of pretty again. So I look ok in black and white, or in bad lightning. My body was made for another time too, for a time when women were softer, rounder. Maybe it's my German heritage but I was built to be a bar maid in lederhosen. Cleavage for days but hide the stomach and arms lol. Why are we all so critical of ourselves? I ask as I adjust my too short sleeves down over my upper arms for the 15 thousandth time tonight. I mean if we're healthy and happy and we can do everything we need to do why is it so awful that my arms aren't toned. I gave birth to 3 amazing human beings why do I absolutely hate my stomach and my stretch marks? Why do I always feel self conscious about my stomach or the fact that those 3 amazing humans separated my abdominal muscles so that I may always look a little pregnant? I wish I could just truly be comfortable in my own skin. Some days I love me but lately those days are few and far between. Most days lately I cringe when I see myself, or when I think about myself too much, and then I just want to hide in the dark cave that is my bedroom and not see or talk to anyone. But I guess I'll leave it at that, try to see myself through a softer lens... And maybe in black and white.
  12. 2 points
    Every once in a while I travel around google images and look for ideas that I cloud possible replicate with my own hands. Mostly under the search term of Homesteading, Traditional architecture of the past or Survival tricks of the trades. Other times I am inspired by the books I read or posts that I see to seek images such as nomadic hand carvings thanks to the Bride Story manga. Artworks and practical pieces that will encourage sturdy long lasting builds upon any piece of land that I hope to own. Then there is the latte stone structure of a palm tree house that was meant for the chieftain. Which takes me down my ancestorial paths to the times where my people existed before the sailor's invade and changed our lives. I wouldn't be where I am if it didn't happen, but I still want to know how my people lived and survived on the islands of the Marianas. My bloodline suggests power, authority and yes political corruption within those consumed by the latter but I know that my maternal lineage is one that may have lead me on paths towards spiritual healer and leader. Things that I hide from in today's life because I don't want to lose my family both on here or my bloodline. Yet, every moment that I live I know and use some of the teachings from my parents and their parents before them and so on. So, I walk these paths as I do others while searching online for what I may use over time or come to accept. I will share them with you sab i find them. 😸
  13. 2 points
    As some of you know, I left Facebook last year. I recently reactivated my account as per a friend's request, but I rarely read my feed and only log in maybe twice a week to check notifications/messages. The main reason I left is that Facebook is essentially a confirmation bias machine. In order to keep you coming back, the algorithms are specifically designed to show you things you will like, based on data collected on you from Facebook itself along with partner sites. One can reduce a user's presence on their feed or unfollow them altogether, blocking out what may or may not be a quality, valid viewpoint in its own right. The breaking point for me was when I realized I was getting my news from Facebook and starting to get unconsciously lazy about seeking out proper journalism. There's some personal responsibility involved here, but Facebook, by design, makes it that much harder to get outside of your comfort zone. To be properly informed, one must view differing perspectives on the world to see what is actually going on. That means reading things that can make you uncomfortable from time to time, but if you're reading quality sources, it's difficult to dismiss an opposing viewpoint as simple propaganda or without basis in logic and/or science. Here's an example. My political views are socially liberal (in case you couldn't tell!), but most of my family is very conservative. We will differ greatly on topics such as abortion, immigration, and police reform. On abortion discussion, there's been some positives--I can understand their viewpoint that abortion is murder, no matter what, and should be illegal. On the other hand, calls to completely shut down Planned Parenthood, clinics that are frequently prominent in such debate, are not reasonable, as they do provide access to contraceptives and pre- and post-natal care. On police reform, I think it's important to have the discussion that police work is a dangerous job and, in many cases, individuals in law enforcement are held accountable for overstepping their bounds. It is not helpful to call Black Lives Matter a "terrorist organization" and outright dismiss the problems with police in this country. This is where confirmation bias comes into play--with the way we are consuming media now, it is too damned easy to get stuck in an echo chamber of like-minded individuals and end up in a tribe representing a section of political thought. Authority bias comes in when we see things in print, ranging in quality from the random blog to opinion pieces in the Washington Post. If one aligns their thinking with a political tribe, it becomes more difficult to view such writings as merely opinion and not gospel. This is not a new phenomenon, either, at least in the US--the rise of the 24-hour news cycle on cable television years ago resulted in (and propagated) breakouts to ideological corners, resulting in networks of media with political lean. It has grown worse with social media, however. So, what I've done is branched out. Twitter has been my primary resource in this time, with reddit filling in the gaps here and there. The partisans are there, in droves, but one can find proper debate that does not necessarily descend into name calling. One can find quality individuals with opposing viewpoints and follow their feeds, yielding cogent comment and links to professional articles. There's also entertainment, of course, and the nature of twitter is that professionals do not seem to be afraid to express individual viewpoints, so overlap happens. (Also, twitter does have a "things you may like" algorithm that I always dismiss.) On reddit, it's a bit more difficult. Content is generally properly categorized, but sometimes you have to dig for the quality pieces and not be tempted to reach for the low-hanging fruit that's been upvoted to the top by groupthink. As stated above, I think curating a good social media feed requires a dose of personal responsibility and also enough legwork to make it happen. I'm constantly tinkering with my feeds, adding new people on twitter, removing others, adding subreddits, blocking others. Just remember that sometimes the news and political discussion is supposed to make you uncomfortable. If you're going to reach out to the world, there are tools to make your viewpoint accurate and push you towards critical thought.
  14. 2 points
    So it really has been a long time since I've written anything of substance. At least, I haven't written any stories or poems. If you look at NL Archive, the last blog post I've written was on August 15, 2016, and that was about American football, titled NFL Competition. That's not to say that I haven't been busy creating things. I've also been podcasting, which you can find at my Dom Dumais website, thought it's been ages since I've done a podcast as well. I've also done a lot of work with a local hockey league called the Siam Hockey League, and I've recently rebuilt their website, and I've been asked to build a demo site for another possible job. My goal in restarting Rambling In The Woods, and creating a new character in @Kethlia's thread titled Pristov Eli Isles, as well as starting The Woods and being Wolf, which is always fun, but I digress. My goal in restarting Rambling In The Woods is to sprak my creative juices and start writing poems and stories again. This first post, I'm going to keep short, because, well, I'm having so much fun posting on NL 4.0. Always Remember: You should treat everybody better than you expect to be treated.
  15. 2 points
    After ditching my homework for a few days to come on here, I finally got a half assed version of it done. I'm definitely no good at Java programming, but I'll turn in what I have if the prof doesn't respond. I am seriously done stressing out over it. Good news on the therapy front. I have an appointment with a therapist that accepts my insurance for later next month. That will help me immensely. I also wanted to share that my new glasses came in today. I have had the same frames (different lenses) for over 10 years. I like them a lot. I'll update this this more as the week goes on. I'm in the mood to update it more than Facebook simply for the fact that for every 9 things I post, I get maybe 3 people reading something. Here the response rate is much more pleasurable.
  16. 2 points
    First some background/side information; - As the people who follow me on facebook probably haven't been able to miss, last year was the first time i ever went on a faraway vacation/travel (i rather call it traveling, because a vacation you mostly spend on the beach reading a book, i want to see the country i'm in, i'm exploring). Before that i never been farther away than a 6 hour drive, except for when i was about 10 years old we went with our family to. what was back than called, Yugoslavia. Plus i went twice on a 3 day "study-trip" with my work to Budapest in Hungary and Capri in Greece, that was the first time i was on a plane and hardly got to see anything of the place we where in, and according to colleague's that didn't count as a vacation/travel. Probably no need to say; i'm hooked, i want to go see the world, mostly Asia. - I love mountains! I love mountains covered in forest, there's something romantic and mysterious about it. Unfortunately i life in probably the flattest country in the world, our highest hill is 322 meters (1058 ft), we don't have mountains.. (Yes, i got serious problems here...). The first time i saw mountains with my own eyes was last year on my travel to South-Korea...it was even more beautiful than i had thought it would be, being able to see mountains covered in forest as far as the eye could see, until the horizon, it was amazing! So far for the background information, i warned you it was a dragon rambling . Like i said, i've gotten a good taste of traveling and i'm hooked, but i don't have a steady companion to go along with me. Which is no problem, i had a wonderful time with 17 other people i never met before. One friend want to go to Africa someday, we planned for 2019, another friend wants to go to Japan and Costa Rica someday, i'm in. After watching a television program called "Let's go with mum" where celebs go traveling with their moms, i thought that was a wonderful idea because my mom has also never traveled. So i asked her if she didn't had a country she has always wanted to go to someday, but she said she never had had a thought to travel far away. A couple of weeks ago i told her that there is a mountain right next to Seoul that's 836,5 meters (2744 ft) high and i could just take the subway to go hiking on a real mountain there. (I'm so excited, i'm going there next March). That's when she mentioned that that was something she would like to do someday; go to Bavaria in south Germany to see real mountains. At that point i didn't think much about it, Germany was the last place i wanted to go to. But a couple of days later i suddenly remembered something; i did want to go there, long long ago when i was a little girl i wanted to go to Bavaria very much. I wanted to go to Possenhofen in Bavaria to see Empress Sisi's parental home. Not sure if you're familiar with it, Elisabeth von Beiern is kind of a legend, she was very young when she became the empress of Austria true an unplanned marriage. There's a very well-known trilogy based on her life called "Sisi the young Empress", and i must have watched that movie like 1000's of times (yes thousands) when i was young. I think it was when i was like 11 or 12 years old, everyday i came home from school i turned on the vcr (yes, we had it on tape, recorded from tv :p) to watch it until the rest of the family also wanted to watch tv. I did this for a couple of years, driving my mom crazy, but i loved the movie so much i literally couldn't get enough of it, i could narrate every word they said. It's been around 25 years ago now and i still know that when i forwarded the intro titles i had to press the play-button when i saw the name "Ernts Marischka" on screen to catch the exact start, i still remember exactly what the dress looked like she wore to the first ball, the dress she wore when walking around Corfu and what her father yelled when she was horseback riding "Jump over the roses!" (but then in german), and so much more. So i looked into it and found a perfect vacation, it's actually very cheap compared to my other travels (yes of course it is, this one you go by train instead of plain...duh), i talked to my mom about it this morning and she thought it was a wonderful idea to go there together! It's a really cute village on the foot of Germany's highest mountain (2962 meters/9718 ft). Innsbruck, where one of the palace's is where Sisi lived, is reachable by Karwendelbahn (don't know how to translate, google it) and her hometown is fairly easy reachable by train. I'm totally excited to go now, but have to wait at least half a year because it's to cold for us now there, neither of us wants cold and snow. It's a childhood dream i had forgotten about that comes true. (And i get to travel with my mom! )
  17. 2 points
    I want to write stuff. I don't really know what, but I want to create, whether that be visual art or the written word, so I'm going to attempt to keep a blog. The blog name is linked to my user name (square peg, round hole, gettit?), not necessarily anything to do with how I feel about myself or my situation, though from time to time that might be the case. Really, I just couldn't think of a decent title! Anyway, this is where I'll vent, rant, voice ideas and just generally ramble on when the mood takes me. I sincerely hope that what I spit out in this blog interests you and that you'll keep coming back to check it out.
  18. 2 points
    There is no other feeling that can compare to what I feel browsing through these hallowed forums again. From the people I have come to know and care for to those I have yet to meet. The sweet call of this place online formed by our words is a haven to the real world around us. Sometimes we need such a sanctuary to escape, unwind, or terrorize and I am so estatic with it's return. I would caress my online home like a lover come home after a dark sleeplessness night if it were to physically manifest. For now I'll run my words through your minds and enjoy feeling yours touch mine for as long as I stay here.
  19. 1 point
    This is, if possible, even more lewd than the first one. You have been warned. >:3 She was free. Her effervescent joy was marred only by the sour tang of Logan's sad frustration. I upheld my end of the deal, so what if he isn't thrilled with the results? What did he expect, that I'd be thrilled to have my options ripped from me, forced to take his cock every night? At least it had stopped hurting. He had made some effort, but he was just too big and thick, his need too great to ease her into the coupling. She remembered with a twinge the first week under him, how raw and sore she had been, before her body adjusted to his demands. Approaching the first of the farms along the outskirts of the large town, she followed the stone fence until it met with the wider road. Dawn was still several hours away, her feet and legs burned with the effort of walking so many hours so quickly, and her stomach growled, reminding her that dinner was a distant memory. With few options left to her, she makes space beneath the wide branches of pine trees, and tried to sleep, the ground hard and cold, and her fear a living thing, chewing on her heart. The next morning dawned bright and clear, the soft blue and pink blush of sunlight peeking over the horizon, lifting her heart, though it did little to ease the ache in her belly, or the tight muscles of hard night. Entering the large town, her hope further eroded by the distrust and underlying tension from the residents as she kept her ears open, listening for the vague leads and hints of rumors that might lead to any kind of job that might sustain her for a time. It was a fruitless day of searching, checking all the pubs and a few of the shopkeepers in town, earning nothing for her efforts but sneering civility and curt dismissals. When she accidentally found herself talking to the Madam of a brothel in a seedier part of town, she made her excuses quickly and with the woman's cutting "all for the best, what man would want you anyway?"still ringing in the still air, she wanders. No where to go, no one to give her a chance, she didn't notice the three men that followed her from the brothel. A scuffed boot let her know they were there, and once she realized, the cat calls began. "What a pretty little hornless boy we got here boys!" "I've got a horn for 'em alright" "Nah guys, prissy little bitch, doesn't even know what she is. Cutting your hair won't show off what u don't have, stupid cunt." Fingers brush over the handle of her knife, still concealed in the band of her pants. In another moment she felt hands close around her wrist, crying out as her shoulder was wrenched back and up, the man behind her reeking of sweat and stale booze. Driving her into a wall, she could feel his 'horn' growing, his other hand groping over her modest curves, catching her other wrist as she tries to fight back. Flipping her around, he gathered both wrists in one big, rough, filthy hand and held them above her head, giving her a good look at his wide, mean, sour face, recognizing in him the same type of cruelty that drove the slave owners to whip the merchandise ruthlessly. Watching her eyes, she could feel his gleeful pleasure pressed against her as her fear mounted higher and higher. Drawing his knife, he made a slow show out of parting her shirt, the threads screaming as he slices down and between her breasts. "Maybe it just takes a real man to make you into a real woman, huh?" Grinning like he had made the best joke in the world, his knife hand going to his trousers as the other two men watched in sickening anticipation. Mind struggling with disbelief, "they are actually going to rape and kill me, just to prove they weren't attracted to a boy," she thought, taking advantage of his glance downward to wrench her left arm free, the same time she drives her knee into his groin. Her hand free, she draws her black knife, feeling it glide smoothly into his shoulder, the obsidian red as she pulled it free, holding it to his throat as she urges him and his companions back. Swallowing back bile as she saw the blood and pain she caused, she shook her head and making sure her exit was clear, she gave the wounded man a kick for good measure and took off toward the main street, trusting in the crowds to hide her until she could get-- She paused at the thought, that she would go back to the mercenaries, but taking a deep breath she continued on, treading the same path she'd taken 12 hours earlier. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Logan's temper, while usually a steady burn, held in check by an easy personality and the needs of those around him, was now sparking, sending flares that bit into the trust and morale of those around him. His own needs unfulfilled, he snarled and snapped his way through the day, trying not to think of the empty bed awaiting him that night. With the mood that was riding him, not even the seediest of brothels would let him in the front door, and risk the lives of girls and patrons alike. His member was dry tinder, just waiting for a spark to set him ablaze, aching for more than he could give. He stayed out far later than he normally would that night, trying not to consider the sadness he felt when thoughts of the empty room crept in, souring what already promised to be a miserable night. The rainclouds overhead matched his grim mood, and the fat drops that fell upon him as he entered the simple cabin were enough to tease thoughts of her to the forefront of his mind. Was she well? Was she out there now, getting soaked through? Did he let her go just to die? Shaking his head, he downed a glass of whiskey and stripped free of the confines of the day. With worry, exhaustion, frustration and sadness wearing on his heart, Logan fell into fitful sleep, plagued with teasing green eyes and a growing, guilt-tinged emptiness. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ She slipped in amidst a crash of thunder. Clothes damp from the rain, she was grateful for the dying light of the fire and the gentle warmth that lapped over her skin, producing a wave of shivers. The owner of the humble quarters was asleep on the bed, dreaming in fitful starts. Sitting by the fire, she warmed herself, finding a moment of peace as she watches him twist and turn, unconscious mind wrestling an active body. In the short time she was with him, he had never treated her as less than she was. She was a prisoner, yes, but she was still a person, with all the dignity and respect that commanded. Brushing the bruises on her wrists, she watched as he turned onto his back, saw the bulge between his legs that had dominated her existence the past few weeks, flushing a little at the teasing tingle along her thighs. "Cyr-" the breathy sound of her name made her jump, heart pounding before she realized he was still asleep. She couldn't go into town, couldn't make it on her own. Adrift at sea. She could do worse. But something had to change. Standing, she slowly strips out of her clothes, quivering as her skin pebbles from the cool, damp air. Pulling the thin blanket back to expose him, she glimpses his passive face, confirming he slept on, though standing stiff and proud in the firelight. Indulging her curiosity, her fingertips slowly trail from base to tip, tracing over the hard ridge, stroking the smooth skin. Her teasing, light touches drawing a bead of wet to the tip. Biting a lip briefly, she leans forward, slowly, carefully drawing her tongue over the engorged head, almost distracted from the taste of him by the velvet-smooth feel of his skin against her tongue. Potent, almost earthy, the tang of man teased her tongue as she wraps her lips over the tip, coaxing more from him as her mouth flirts with his head. When next she looked, his eyes were open, watching her with a hungry curiosity. With a startled pop, she jumps up and makes to move to the other side of the room, stopping as he catches her arm. It wasn't a hard grip, only meant to make her pause. Looking at his face, she struggled with shock at seeing the vulnerability leaking around the desperate hunger in his eyes. "Please." Her own desire nibbling the edges of her self-control, she finally nods, putting a hand to his chest as he moves to grab her waist. Shaking her head, she turns the word back on him, asking for herself, for the moment to be hers, for his patience. "…please." Trailing her fingers slowly up his chiseled abdomen and up over his chest, she feels the hard muscle shift beneath the exquisite sheathe of smooth skin, straddling just in front of his stiffness. leaning down, she followed her fingertips path with her mouth and tongue, placing his hands along her hips as she nibbled at his collarbone, shivering as he stroked her spine, her lips finding his neck. The feel of his heartbeat against her lips was all the more sensual when it quickened as she pressed firmly against his member, feeling it nestled in the soft crease of her bottom, so close he could feel her heat against his shaft. Pulling herself up slightly, her mouth seeks his in a searing kiss, growing more demanding as their excitement grows. Her hands buried in his hair as his hands lightly tease over her ribs, thumbs brushing across the hard nubs as her hips start trying to grind against him. She finally breaks the kiss, and positions herself over him, desire etched across her face as he follows her body, tongue continuing what his thumbs had started, pulling and teasing at the sensitive nipples. Slowly sheathing him inside her, she could feel the quiver of pleasure shudder through him as she starts moving, the soft noises coming from her throat fraying his self-control as she rode him. Breath heavy as she takes her pleasure with him, he holds her close, the intimacy both terrifying and wonderful as he watches her face raptly, green eyes locked with grey as she quivered. With husky breath she leans in, body tense, primed, waiting, she nibbles his ear and begs with voice dripping with pleasure. "P-please." His blood searing away the last of his restraint, he drives into her, shuddering as she crests, toes curling as she comes with absolute pleasure, her moans and the feel of her surrounding him drove Logan over the edge, holding tight as he floated in ecstasy. She was everywhere, senses overloaded with her and it was all he could do to not be set adrift. As they slowly calmed, heartbeats slowing together, still entwined, he considers her, eyes tracing every line, as though he could capture the way her dark hair curled against her forehead, or the way her heartbeat felt against his tongue. It was the same. It was completely and irreversibly different. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ When mid-morning rolled around and Logan was still no where to be found, it fell to Jonathan to approach the simple cabin. After yesterday's temper, it was impossible to know what frame of mind he might find their fearless leader. With a peremptory knock, Jonathan opens the door and steps in, eyes briefly scanning the room before lighting on the bed. Logan wasn't alone. One arm caught beneath the girls body, Logan gave him a bemused look as he slowly pulled his arm free, standing and stretching as the girl quickly filled the warm spot he vacated. Focusing on the girl, lest he get distracted by the nude, very masculine wolf still looking for his clothes, Jonathan blinks, slightly taken aback that it wasn't just a whore that looked like Cyra, but Cyra herself who was quickly taking over the large bed. Rolling his eyes, he shoves a pair of pants at the wolf, whose interest grew each time he glanced at the bed. Jonathan waited at the door while Logan got partially dressed, and walked out to the crisp bright morning. Closing the door with a quiet 'thud', Jonathan follows, shaking his head to clear the heavy scent of sex from his lungs, and the mental image of their busy night from his mind. "I thought you got rid of her," Jonathan said flatly, fighting a feeling he had no right to, watching his friend carefully. With a wide, satisfied grin, he looks at Jonathan, stretching in the gentle breeze. "She came back," the smug, pleased happiness the man was exuding was too much for Jonathan, who turned on his heel to head back to camp, his original message forgotten. "Just cause she keeps your cock happy, doesn't mean she's worth anything," Jonathan shakes his head, muttering to himself. "I think he'd disagree," grinning, Logan claps him on the back, giving a friendly push as he perks up, hearing faint noises from the cabin. Already stirring, he gives a small barking laugh and trots back to the cabin.
  20. 1 point
    So I'm a mood music person, probably the reason I have "when words fail, music speaks" tattooed on my chest. And a couple of songs are speaking to me tonight. Jamie O'Neal - There is no Arizona Sugarland - Stay
  21. 1 point
    So I've never been great at keeping up with a blog but I notice lately I keep rambling in random places so I'm going to try to contain it to one spot so I'm not subjecting everyone to it all the time. I thought about doing an audio one but since I'm currently sitting at the nurses station at work between rounds and call lights now isn't the best time. But maybe tomorrow when I have the night off (yay!) Anyhow... for now I think I'll just leave it extra short and sweet and I'll add more soon.
  22. 1 point
    Not a story, but something that has been teasing on the edges of my thoughts this morning. Of course, this is one of those things that, as an adult, I feel like I'm not supposed to worry about or deal with anymore, like it's something reserved for dramatic teenagers donning their heavy black eyeliner, writing bad depressive poetry. God knows that was me not long ago in the scheme of things. I never got much into makeup, and by most accounts I wasn't all that outwardly dramatic as a teen, but i wrote the sad, emo poetry and internalized my drama into one long existential crisis, so I can't help but look at things like this that i wrestle with and wonder if I'm supposed to be past all this, that as an adult, it's childish to dwell on such things. And while there's always a certain amount of insecurity and reassurance being sought after, this isn't really that; I'm not looking for people to come forward and say "No you're not, you're wonderful and beautiful and are great"... it's just me acknowledging and wrestling with some thoughts. I just recently (as in an hour ago) finished reading Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage by Haruki Murakami, and one of the things the character Tsukuru deals with is the idea that he is colorless, without personality, he is an empty vessel. "I have nothing to offer." This resonates powerfully with me; in Tsukuru I found my reflection. There is a common phrase or saying, that 'everyone likes to feel needed'. I've gone through life feeling superfluous. Unneeded. I look at the people that I somehow manage to call friends and I know why I need them. I need their personality, their humor, their strength, and passion to fill me up, to make me less alone, to make me smile and create. Even those who are introverts like myself are a different kind, and they bring me out and make me feel and love and laugh. The problem...is that i don't know why they need me. What use is someone who is empty? I'm not strong, I have no strong convictions, no solid opinions or skill in debate. My life has been placid, uneventful, boring. I don't have the personality or energy, the vivaciousness to be a party person or be invited out to events, and I have nothing of interest to offer to a conversation. I'm not needed by anyone. I have no rights to anyone's time, I can make no demands of attention from anyone. They don't need me, so if I become too troublesome or a nuisance, what keeps them from just letting me go? Nothing. So, I'm kept around because someone wants me around. Being needed versus being wanted. What's the difference? Which is stronger? We always consider that being needed is stronger. A need is immutable, its a necessity that is unchanging. We need food, water, shelter. Need never goes away, never changes. Want is fleeting. We want a cookie, a book, a car. Makes us happy for a time, until it's importance is worn out and can be let go. Is it possible to live with just being wanted? To have people who say "I love you, and I want you here." To have friends who make the choice to continually want you around. Is it possible that choice is more valuable than necessity? Am I worth less by being a want? Is it ok to be the empty vessel?
  23. 1 point
    As I mentioned in my first post on language study, I'm going through a textbook to pick up new grammar (and in fewer and fewer cases, review old grammar) and practice it. It's also giving me vocabulary, but I'm not putting a lot of emphasis on it--a lot of the vocab is esoteric to college life. Not long from now I'm going to poke around NHK Easy News and pull new vocab from there. Much more practical. However, something I've been thinking about as I proceed through the book (today I am starting chapter 7 out of 11) is that I really should find a way to put together a comprehensive review. After all, it's a course in building up language learning, not a collection of discrete facts. Therefore, my current project is to figure out how I can do this effectively. An exam is the traditional method, but I can't just write it out myself! Or, at least, it wouldn't be efficient. It's a fairly popular book, so maybe there's premade exams posted online somewhere. Must look. In any case, one thing I learned about my self-driven study habits is that I learn best when I prepare in a way that would allow me to make a presentation in class. To give a 15 minute talk, or similar, with reference material. I think I can do something similar here.
  24. 1 point
    So, by popular request, I'll go into my language study a bit on this blog. This post will be on a couple of tools I've been using. The first is Houhou, a Windows app. It's designed specifically for Japanese, but the SRS (spaced repetition system), which is the focus of the app, is a system that has more common-use programs built around it, such as Anki. I've even heard that people use an SRS for studying other things that require memorization, such as anatomy and chemistry. Here's the front page: There's tabs up top for the SRS, a kanji dictionary, and a dictionary for more general vocabulary. You can think of the SRS as a sort of fancy flashcard system. At its basic level, it works just like simple paper flashcards, but it also keeps track of which items you answered correctly or not and then spaces your next review of that next flashcard accordingly. The time period ranges from 4 hours (for new items) all the way up to 120 days! There's apparently actual learning science behind this stuff, and it definitely works for me. I wish I had it back in 1999 when I first started learning the language. You can see I have 20 reviews ready to go. Houhou also sends me Windows notifications every hour when new reviews are ready, and frankly, I need that level of nagging. As an example, next image has a breakdown of what I currently have in the system: : D1 is the first level, so I must have failed to answer correctly on one of the new ones. I'd say most of that 13% I get wrong are new ones. The difference between how much I draw a complete blank on new items and then how well I do just after a couple of days of this flashcard cycling process is honestly amazing. According to Houhou, supposedly I have 350 words and kanji memorized, but it doesn't feel like that many (there's also some basic ones that I never even put through the system, so the number's actually higher than that). Maybe I should have more faith in my recall. Next is an SRS review in action: This is a kanji review, although the vocab review is very similar (more or less identical to what you'll see in the next pic). I've even squeezed a few sentences in here for new grammar concepts I've been picking up recently. A minor quibble I have with this is that there are two types of readings that go with each kanji and they aren't delineated by category here in the reviews. Tough to go into more detail on that without getting into the nitty-gritty of the language, but suffice it to say it would help me with learning the readings for kanji, especially since, as you can see, there can be quite a few for each character. Yeah, it's a stickler for getting it correct. Here I'll point out the buttons on the bottom. "Ignore answer" is good if I typo'd my answer, which is handy since I'm still learning how to type in Japanese as well. It simply throws the flashcard back into the review session without recording a failure or success. "Add to meanings" is a shortcut for adding an incorrect answer to the accepted list. Sure, it can be a way to cheat, and I suppose there is an argument to be made here that my response, "verify," is technically correct, but the dictionary this is based on, EDICT, has been around since the 90's and reviewed by countless people. I should probably stick with it, and not cheat, since if I just cheated all the time it wouldn't work as well. Here's a look at the kanji tab if anyone's interested: Kanji, being a set of thousands of characters, is difficult to look up, especially for beginners. This program doesn't have a lot of tools, being pretty much just limited to reading, meaning, and component (called "radicals"). However, just this has become serviceable for someone at my level in most situations. Other programs, interfaces, and websites have all sorts of tools, such as searching by the number of strokes used in writing, or a handwritten interface where it tries to guess a kanji that the user drew. Houhou has been my best friend since I picked up Japanese again, but as I mentioned, it's a Windows program. What if I'm not at my computer and I want to look up a word? Then I use a phone app, and personally, I use Akebi for my Android phone. . Search in this is rather robust, and I actually am still learning how to use the app since most of the time I'm at my computer when I'm studying. I haven't even dabbled in the Lists or flashcards here yet. Here's a look at a sample word search: So, there's a reading here in hiragana (the basic Japanese script) and the kanji for the word (how one would normally see it written out in everyday life). Under the defintions, "common noun" refers to how often it comes up in analysis of Japanese writing. Houhou has these tags as well, and I really appreciate them. I'll explain why in the next paragraph. The other tags are for grammar reference. There's a lot of little details in Japanese that are easy to forget, especially when attempting to translate English to Japanese. Kinda like how "the" and "a" "an" and other such grammar constructs that come naturally to us native speakers work. Examples of usage in sentences are great, too. I take as many of these as I can get. Finally there's a breakdown of the kanji used in this word at the bottom, and from here, one can research the selected kanji further. That goes into why I love those common usage tags. I'll try not to lose you here in details, but when learning kanji, I find the best way to learn both the meaning and the readings for them is to see them in actual words. The problem is, when I plug a kanji into the dictionary, it's going to spit out 100 words that use that kanji, either on its own, or with other kanji. When a program like Houhou or Akebi shows me which words are commonly used, I'm able to just add two or three useful words to my list, making it much more easily digestible. This really is a lifesaver when I'm picking up ten kanji at a time. While a lot of these tools were available back in the day when I first started learning and just became more convenient (or portable), this common usage concept in particular is new and I love it. My last tool is a familiar one--a textbook. I've been going through self-study by following the textbook and doing exercises in its companion workbook. Where the tools in this post come in handy are as companions to the text. My process right now has been to pick up new words and kanji from the text, and plug them into Houhou. While plugging in the kanji, I look for common use words with them and also add them to the SRS. I'll add in sentences here and there, too. I tend to use Akebi for times I'm sitting on the couch or I'm out and about and a word pops in my head and I think to myself, "I wonder what the Japanese word for that is?" While this process has been great for vocab and kanji, I don't think it's enough for learning the grammar. Putting grammar on flashcards helps, but I've found myself memorizing what's on the flashcards instead of thinking about the grammar and parsing it into English. I'm currently looking out for tools to supplement that aspect of my learning.
  25. 1 point
    For the longest time I have had to the urge to write. Or at the very least, express my feelings about stuff going on in my life. This has been very hard over the past year due to some major changes in my life as well some major changes beyond my control. For those that do not know, I live with a condition called bipolar. I'm in a federally funded government program that provides housing for people like me with mental illness and I have been in the program since 2009. Since I have been in the program I have done very well and have gotten a better grapple on my illness. I am able to manage my symptoms more effectively and control my anger better than before. However, there is still some work to be done. Over the past year, a lot of good things have happened. Our complex got bought out so we were forced to move to another location, which is in a much nicer area. I also finally have landed two really decent room mates who are not that crazy and have some sort of geek card,which is a blessing. For years I had terrible room mates I dreaded and this community has served as a refuge for me for many years, regardless of the boards being up or down. The good news is there is light at the end of the tunnel. In the spring I will be graduating from American InterContinental University Online with a BS in IT. I have no idea what I want to do with it yet, but with that degree I will finally be able to get a real job and afford a better place for me and my room mates. Also, in the spring we are moving out to a building across the way our landlord bought along with the buildings he did when we moved. The catch is we have to do our chores regularly to a tee because our staff wants to write us a good letter of recommendation. Carrot over our heads. The reality is, with a degree I'll be able to get a better job and hopefully a better place for us. That's the good news. The bad news is pretty shitty for me. The program I'm in is through the county's health department and DuPage is up there with the richest, so it does indeed provide good mental health services. However, since I moved here in December, they switched over to a new system around the time Trump took office. I'll remind you we are a federally funded program so Bruce Rauner's BS didn't affect us. But they have refused to let me see a therapist until I go to a group at these certain locations. More importantly, they want me to work on something short term and specific with the therapist. Well I'm being specific by writing this blog and I need an outlet to express my emotions. Holding them in is not healthy for me. I am doing fine, yes, and there is no need to worry, but this is the longest period in my life I have gone without seeing a therapist. I do have a case worker that manages my case, but she is not licensed. She does help me with my diabetes which I currently struggling with, but as far as i can tell the best excuse I have gotten from management is "There is a lot of changes with funding and the government now." And for fuck's sake, I do hate Trump, but this is beyond political. I'm stable and being denied service. Think of all the others who need the service more desperately that are being denied. For the county to deny service like this is a big deal. My housing is secure, which is good, but I cannot say the same for others. That is why I glad I will be out of the situation I have been in soon. The most frustrating thing is I do not have anyone to relate to. I'm the only one in two buildings that has any hope at getting a decent job. I say this as I am the only one who goes to school and plans to get OFF social security checks. When you live on the fixed income we do, you are not allowed to earn over a certain amount (usually $2000/month). So you're stuck in a clusterfuck. When you live in a community where goals are not set too high, it's tough. That's why I would like to talk to normal or other people outside of my little bubble. Brain cells are wasting away. I'm the smart guy for reading and knowing what logic is.
  26. 0 points
    So my story is much more like the Grimm tales, dark and full of monsters with some moments of clawing your way into the light. But if you want that light you have to earn it... So... once upon a time there was a girl. Curly haired and innocent and sweet, not a perfect angel and never would be but certainly less weathered then the current version. As she grew she went through the things most kids do, skinned knees and imaginary friends. Some good friends but she was by nature a shy child, always towards the outside of any group. The mother was a bit on the crazy side sometimes, not evil stepmother material but she battled with her own demons and the girl tried to fight alongside her but she wouldn't understand for a long time what depression truly was, or anxiety, or stress or how hard it was to raise a child without a father. And there was no real father in this fairy tale. There was a man who came to see her every few years and sometimes he would remember to send a Christmas present or a birthday card. She didn't realise it then but this is probably where her desperate need for the attention of men began. There was also a stepfather but he was also distant, a scientist who looked at her more as a case study then a daughter. He tried but fatherhood wasn't in his nature. Then she hit those magical years otherwise known as puberty and found drama and rumors and boys... oh to have never discovered boys... it was a slippery slope to nowhere after that. Her first boy seemed sweet at first. The neighbor boy from up the road. All the things a first boy should be, holding hands and akward kisses. But then one day he brought his older cousin with him, the popular boy at her school, good looking, the one she had secretly crushed on a little but never said anything. That memory is still one of those strange things where parts are crystal clear and parts are lost in a fog. She remembers the hands on her, rough, painful. She remembers the hand on her mouth covering her screams and the tears. But then it all fades away, a dark cloud until she was somehow back in her house, in the shower, crying, bleeding, wondering what she did wrong. This went on for almost a year. Threats of hurting her or hurting her family if she said anything or if she stopped seeing them. Some times are again as clear as daylight. "How can you scream with my dick in your mouth" is one that always replays even now. Finally she moved to a different town and it ended. But the damage was done, the rumors at school that she was a whore, even though she never did say anything. The inability to feel worthy of love grew further. Then at 15 on one of the few trips to see her father in another state she met the first "one" and fell head over heels. He was cute and sweet and he told her he loved her and she gave him all she had to give at the time, which looking back now wasn't really much but then it was everything. They spent a few short sweet weeks together and she returned home, promising to be true and always love him. And she was true. But he wasn't. Eventually the distance became to much, the calls and the letters stopped. So she gathered up the pieces of her heart and moved on. Except she didn't.. a couple of years later she went back to Michigan and started seeing the first "one" again. But this time she met his friend too (unknowing that the first one was cheating on her and wanted her to date the friend). This however turned out to be a blessing in disguise as this new boy was so much more. This one was actually good and decent and finally 5 years after the loss of her virginity she learned that there was pleasure in sex. Although that relationship didn't last either this one she still remembers fondly and still speaks with every once in a great while. During the long cold winter that was her senior year she came to know the man who was her father. And she came to see he really was worthless as a father. He drank himself unconscious every night, leaving her to get a full time job after school just so they could eat. He lost their house in February, which could have been a frozen death sentence but they managed to find a 3 room house (and that term is very loosely used) as this house had been stripped of most of the light fixtures, had no running water and barely any heat. The grades she had worked so hard for fell dramatically and she barely managed to graduate and flee back to Wisconsin. This pretty much brings her story into adulthood. Well legal adulthood, since mentally she had been forced into adulthood a long time ago. The story of course doesn't end here but it's enough for now...
  27. 0 points
    Ok I need to rant... Work was insane tonight. I walked almost 10,000 steps in 8 hours, I changed or toileted or helped in some way probably 50 people multiple times each. We are so short staffed right now it's awful... we have 66 residents currently and tonight it was just me, 1 nurse and 1 other cna who doesn't normally work nights so I just had her answer call lights while I did everything else. What really pisses me off is management makes like 40$ an hour and does basically nothing and I make 15$ an hour and do everything. And they're not even really pushing to hire anyone... I mean they have openings posted but they always do and when someone tried to apply they said they weren't hiring because the census (number of residents) was low... wtf... And now they're talking about mandating (forcing people to stay beyond their normal shift or they lose their job) I'm exhausted, my back hurts, my feet hurt. It makes me sad and angry the way we treat our elderly. We under pay and don't appreciate the people who do the hands on day to day care. We are treated like the lowest of the low when really where would they be without us? Nursing homes charge a small fortune to insurance companies for these people to be cared for but the staff is so overworked and burnt out that a lot of them don't even really care anymore. These pictures are literally me right now... lol. Thank God I have the next two nights off... And I love my job, I really do.
  28. 0 points
    So, ever since I was 18, I've had back problems. It first started at work the morning after a pickup basketball game--I leaned over to pick up a product for a customer and something went *ping* in my back. I had a flood of pain and couldn't get up for a few minutes. Somehow I managed to walk out, drive myself home, and end up laid up on the couch for a week. In the years after, I'd have lingering back pain that came and went. Sometimes it'd be gone for months at a time. I also started putting on weight at 14, and that's been up and down ever since (currently still quite up). I drastically reduced my physical activity after that injury, which I'm sure did not help with that. I also had a slip and fall at a different job in late 2009. Again, lots of pain for a while, but it cleared up. Never thought much of either at the time. In 2011, I drove back out to Oregon to give grad school another shot. Just me driving, it was a three-day trek out there. I started developing back pain about a day into the drive, but nothing for it--had to keep pressing on. By the time I got there, I had to very slowly move my stuff into the place I was renting. This back pain became nearly chronic, and has been, for the most part, over the past six years. I kind of dealt with it then because I didn't have health coverage, but when the country's health coverage changed in 2014, I was finally able to see doctors and fully diagnose the problem. As it turns out, I had spinal disease in both the upper and lower spine, with two deformed vertebral discs. To this day, we can't determine when it started, whether it's genetic and just developed over time (my father had a cervical disc removed), or whether a specific incident like the ones I mentioned were the cause. I had surgery to remove the upper disc late last year, but it turned to be mostly asymptomatic--there was no change in my condition. The surgeon was insistent that it be removed because the manner in which it was pressing the spinal cord was precarious--a single mild car accident, for example, could have caused me to become quadriplegic. I suppose it's good that I don't have to worry about that, but it's little comfort when I still have lingering symptoms from it. I saw a neurologist recently who told me that the problems I have with my hands will likely be permanent. It could be worse, as I can still use a computer, drive a car, and so forth (at least most of the time), but when it gets bad, I drop things and have poor use of my hands, especially the right one. Right now surgery isn't suggested for my lower back, even though it's causing all of the nerve pain I'm having today. It's not threatening loss of function of my legs (at least not yet), and the weird position of the disc in my lower spine is not exactly consistent with what the surgeons expect to be causing problems, so they don't want to touch it. I'm trying physical therapy again, and I write this having come back from a session, hopeful that maybe, just maybe, this time around, the sessions will push back the pain a bit. It's the pain that's keeping me from normal life--I can't work because the episodes make me unreliable, much less physically able to commute. Thankfully, my family has been able to support me, or I don't know where I'd be right now. I've also been seeing a behavioral therapist for a year. I've long talked about depression as that's been a longer battle that I was able to address sooner; I may have even talked about it here at NL. One of the areas in which we've made real progress is my coping skills, especially with regards to my relationship with food. I have a binge eating disorder that has greatly been mitigated by the sessions, and, as you can imagine, is largely responsible for my weight gain. Between working with my therapist and being told I wouldn't be having surgery on the lower disc, I've somehow managed to finally get on a successful diet. I've lost 30 pounds over the past few months. Given what little I can do for my pain, inching myself closer to a healthy weight is one thing that I can control, and while I have no promises that losing weight will improve the disease symptoms, it could help. Perhaps I'll update here as my journey moves along, but it's been a slow one. We will see where it leads, but I suppose I'm optimistic.