I can illustrate it in this image. When I took and blogged this photo 6 months ago I named it ‘luminous beauty’ entranced by how the setting sun had lit the petals. As I revisit this blog today (April 12, 09) and am inspired to add some reawakening narrative my thoughts are less generous: ‘meh give me the humble snowdrop anyday’.
You see I am a different person today. I am less in love with my Thai past and increasingly enamored by my American future. Ironically neither exist. They are both illusions I have painted over a present that has become as hard to find as the holy grail. The flowers (luminous orchids or humble snowdrops) are essentially invisible to me until I learn how to be present.