Stress

Tracy and I have been doing a lot of talking about when we move to the States, and things are just messed up to say the least. First, we are having an issue with getting a mortgage, which I touched on before in a previous blog post. We can’t get a mortgage until I’ve moved to Minnesota and I’ve got a job. I can’t get a job until I move to Minnesota. Our contracts aren’t up until September. We can’t move until our contracts are up, as we don’t want to break the contract because the British Council will pay for the move, or at least a good chunk of it, including flights. So that’s just kind of funky right now and more on that later.

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Spike modelling his cage.

In preparation for moving to the US I have asked for a quote for shipping the animals. The thought of sending them with the movers scares me, I would rather have them accompany us however the thought of arriving in the States with 2 cats and a dog but no home and a 2 day road journey to Minnesota is daunting in the extreme. So I want to know how much my other option is going to cost.

The movers asked for size and weight of animals and dimensions of cage. I just took this picture to see if this cage would be okay. The answer is no, we need to buy new airline compliant cages – I’m cool with that, it is safer.

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Hosted Blogs

Over the last few days I’ve been kind of busy here at The Northlands. I’ve been fixing the blogging skins here. For some they are missing some images and for some, the coding for IE was all messed up. Over all, I’ve gotten it all cleaned up. I’ve got the missing images taken care of, and I’ve worked out how to add personal logos for all our hosted blogs. The Northlands is starting to shape up and look the way I want it to, so I’m feeling really good about all this. I’ve created personal logos for my blog here with a logo for each skin, so when you look at my blog with one skin, you will see one logo, and when you look at my blog with another skin, you will see another logo.
Next step is to clean up all the emotes for the dark skins. They look great on the light skins, but on the dark skins, some of them look really bad because they have white lines around them and makes them looks dirty and messed up. So that’s my current task for The Northlands. I really enjoy doing all this for The Northlands and it’s members, I just need to remember that I also need to post and talk to people. I hear that they miss me, but I can’t always figure out why, lol, J/K.

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Feel The Love

Over the last few days, while I’ve been working on The Northlands, I’ve noticed something special. It always amazes me every time I notice it. And it all started back in 2004.

I was at FE and posting mostly in The Woods and for one reason or another, the board got nuked. While we were waiting for the FE to come back, which it would for a bit and something would happen and it would go away again and come back. Somebody made a post about how stupid it was that the admin couldn’t keep the board up and running, and the admin flipped out and shut all of FE down.

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A New Home. A New Blog. A New Life.

Welcome family and friends. Today I start my new blog. A few days ago, we all started a new home here at The Northlands. And just a couple of hours ago, I started a new life.

A five(5) months ago, our home crashed, burned and died. For whatever reason, our hosts server crashed. And for about two(2) months they answered my emails. About three(3) months they updated their main page, and stopped answering my emails. With their server down, I couldn’t access any of the information to move our home. So, Tracy and I decided to start fresh. We got a new board, some new skins, and some old skins and here we are. Welcome to ours and your new home.

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Love and marriage

It is hard to imagine a more unassuming wedding day. Dom and I got up, showered, dressed and hopped on the bike to go to Khun Nulek’s office (Khun Nulek, right in the picture, is our fixer). We sat around a while waiting for her to arrive and when she did she made a few copies and then we all got in her car and drove to the Sansai District Office.

There we took a number and waited.

People arrived and sat and took care of business (birth, marriage, death, divorce, family book registration, and ID card all in one crazy little world). There was no air-con, but ceiling fans whirred slowly so as not to disturb the paperwork. A kid sitting next to Dom drank a cartoon of milk and then puked on the floor and the ceiling fan obligingly stirred the smell into the air. Next to me an old lady slept – sprawled across the bench. Her business done, she left and we were able to shuffle right, away from the sick and wait some more.

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Sometimes

Sometimes, despite all your best efforts, it rains. Sometimes you lose sight of sky, sun and hills and the view is obscured by a shifting wave of grey. Wet cobwebs, close enough touch (net curtains soaked in seawater), close enough to taste (an old dusty picture frame with a zing like the tines of a fork). Sometimes the rain on your face smells of salt sorrow and regret.

Sometimes you have days like this and you just have to let it fall.
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Be yourself

I’m trying to embrace my inner demon. Well, kind of. After yet another OOE (overly emotional event) chez Northlands I was grumbling to a Foxy friend who had inquired how my Wolf was feeling, post drama. My grumble was:

Wolf is dealing with it much better than I am. He has one burst of anger and all the girlies are instantly pm’ing him and telling him they love him and didn’t mean to hurt HIM or make HIM angry. And he is ok. I have one burst of anger and feel like the bad tempered bitch who would have no members if I didn’t have my adorable Wolf to come along and clean up the mess I made.

To which she replied:

You are a bad tempered bitch.

I think she was joking but I know it is how I am viewed by some. Probably. Sometimes I wish people would just TELL you what they thought of you. Not out of some egotistical desire for affirmation but because it would be so much easier to have a more complete and realistic self-image that way. I mean I role-played the Goddess of the Underworld for so long (years) I absorbed aspects of her into my actual identity. It can change a woman, I still have to remind myself I don’t command legions of demonic undead everytime I log on. I struggle with virtual in combination with realistic.

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I have a fetish…

…for stationery.

And like many other fetishes worth having Thailand is a good place to indulge myself. I am a real connoisseur too – I don’t just get turned on by post it notes, glue sticks, multi-coloured bull-dog clips and high-lighter pens I like it ALL.

For example these are a few of my favourite kinks: old-fashioned financial ledgers – lined for double entry, with lickable gummed labels and 100’s of individually numbered pages; full sets of graphite pencils that range from 9H-to 9B; manila envelopes of all sizes and sticky labels – round square and rectangular; acetate sheets for making OHP transparencies (though of course I never do that); index cards of all sizes (white and coloured); blocks of Chinese ink with grinding stones (and bottles of ink too, for the days you really don’t have time to make from scratch) and Chinese brushes with fake bamboo handles; pots of latex glue; and bags of plaster of paris and super hero rubber moulds; patties of polymer clay; drawing pins with transparent triangular knobs; gold rings for binding papers that look like pirates’ earrings; mechanical pencils with tiny boxes of lead of varying diameters; putty rubbers, ink rubbers, scented rubbers, rubbers for the end of your pencil, and retractable rubbers in the shape of a pen; craft knives that look like scalpels; tape of every colour and width – transparent, magic, glittering, canvas, brown gummed (for taping wet watercolour paper onto a board) and masking; staplers; holepunches; scissors; paper paper paper; notebooks and pens…

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Full circle

I remember my first night in Thailand. I had come with my then future but now ex husband for a two-week holiday from Singapore to meet his family, his country. I stood in the window of our Bangkok YMCA hotel room (it was almost classy 16 years ago) looking out onto a busy, pre-skytrain Sathorn Road, crammed with gaudy taxis, tacky billboard ads for M150, beggars on footbridges, the ugly mess of tangled wires and I said, “promise you will never ask me to live here”.

Three years later we moved into an apartment across the river in Lardya, Thonburi. Our apartment block was next door to Thonburi comedy cafe and I think most of the other inhabitants were hookers. We lived in a box with a bed, a toilet and a balcony that we could take it in turns to stand on. Noi bought us a little t.v. that I watched but couldn’t understand. I remember being mystified by a segment of a comedy show that appeared to revolve around a transgendered juggling dwarf. I expressed my (finely trained) western scorn and Noi did his best to explain why it was funny. I didn’t get it.

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