Well, yesterday was pretty good. Only had a few times where I really craved a cigarette, was a little sore from working out the day before with my buddy, and I got a lot of work done on the new thing for The Northlands.
Today I go back to work. But how am I doing? Well, I feel good about getting things done with the new thing for The Northlands, I’m feeling a little bit more sore from working out, lol. It usually takes two days. But I feel frustrated and full of anxiety. Everything our cleaning lady does, seems to drive me up a wall. I mean, from the beginning, she wasn’t like one of my favorite people, but today it just seems a lot worse then normal. Now, I know this has to do with quitting smoking. I haven’t snapped at her or anything, and I’m trying to be good, but sometimes it’s really hard. To give an example, I was looking for some scissors so I could cut open the packaging of the patch I’m using to help me stop smoking, but the scissors weren’t where they were supposed to be, and they weren’t where they have been. so I got a little upset about it, and made a really snide cutting comment about not wanting to wear the patch anyway, thinking she had moved the scissors, she tends to move things, and here Tracy had actually moved them. Now I feel bad about making the comment, not only because it was Tracy who moved the scissors, but also because I know it’s the way I’m feeling because of quitting smoking. It’s nobody’s fault I’m all wound up tighter then shit on the inside. I just need to find a way to release it some how without picking up another cigarette.