SoulDragon

Hey, i totally forgot about this place (again), so sorry. ~huggles for everybody~ Hope you and your loved ones stay well For me personally nothing's much different, i'm always home sick thanks to my chronic desease, i am being extra careful when i have to go out to the store because of my bad immunesystem. The whole social distancing is definitely my cup of tea, finally a socially excepted reason to avoid as many people as possible . My mom keeps comming for our weekly chit chat and that's enough for me, you can't keep us appart no matter what, if i tell her i'm sick she still comes if i'm up to it and the other way around as well. I was extra sick the last 2 weeks or so, if it was Covid or just a bad flu....who knows, i'm recovering from it with plenty of rest as always. I did get worried when my mom got sick last week, but it's only mildly sick and mostly anoying coughing. The worst part for me is all those people hoarding, the grocery delivery service is fully booked a week ahead, while normally i order and get it delivered the next day. But no shortages there, yet, only in the grocery stores...no toilet paper...which i really don't get, it's not like you get diarrhea from covid?! (seriously, can anyone explain to me why that's the first thing that gets hoarded?) So far the covid update on my part, i got plenty of other stuff to tell, but that's for another topic.

As you may know or not, i'm on a long term sick leave from work, for 9 months already. It's no fun, let me tell you that, i wish i was able to work and do all the things that i want to do, and there are lots of things, big and small. From traveling or even migrating to the other side of the world to get the chance to write fanfic/story's again. But there's one thing about it that i don't mind at all, that is as little as possible having to interact with people. I have good contact with my best friend and mom who i see at least once a week or more, and the last few weeks i go for "treatment" so i see mostly 2 or 3 people there once a week. But that's about it besides once in a few months someone else and the people in the grocery store, and i definitely like it. Even the thought of having to work somewhere again scares me, i don't want to be stuck with (that kind of) people every day again. Maybe it's just because of my colleague's of the past 12 years that i feel like that, i mean they where nice and all but we had absolutely nothing in common, i was even the only one who did that work, i was like a construction worker between a bunch of secretary's and ceo's.... But lately it's getting even worse, more and more i feel like i life in my own little world the size of my house, when i have to go shopping or whatever i step into another world. I can get around in that other world it's not that that's scary or difficult, but i rather just not. Time really flies so fast in the world outside of my house i can't keep up. When i have to arrange things with people in that other world it's problematic, it easily can take me 5 days to answer an e-mail without me even noticing it's already been almost a week, and company's start whining "you only have 1 week to submit the form, otherwise we won't do it anymore" things like that, i'm always running behind the facts. I once tried playing a version of the Sim's (you remember that life simulation game?) on an older computer or something, i'm not really sure what the problem was there. Anyway, the time didn't go as it should be, by the time i had the game persona out of bed, showered and dressed i didn't even get the chance to have breakfast or leave the house because it was already night time again. It feels like that...by the time i have had my coffee and walked the dog and am ready to start the day/doing things, most of the morning is already over, and not because i get out of bed late, i guess i just move slower, everything takes me more time. Even the dog starts whining that it takes too long for me to get ready to get out of the door. So i'm really worried about how i'm going to life in that world outside of my house if i ever get well enough to work again. But in the meantime i don't have any problem with being a hermit it the city (outside the city would be even better) and living in my own little world filled with unattainable daydreams.

It's very good to hear they are living well, gives me hope . Well, if i don't agree with the company doctor i can make a legal appeal and government will check who they agree with, if they agree with me my company has to keep paying me, if they agree with the company i'm screwed. If after 2 years i'm still not able to work i'll get government support and my employer can "let me go". And then i have to listen to a government doctor instead of the company doctor until they decide that i won't ever be able to work at all or just 50% or something...if it ever gets that far though. I really hope i can do what your friends have done! I'm so sick and tired (hah literally) of having to struggle true life, i want to be able to life a good and beautiful life! Work full time and earn allot of money to go traveling to places all over the world . (really, if i would be able to work full-time i would be rich in my opinion )

haha, any animals are welcome i think I know what you mean, luckily they don't come into my home, i'm not sure who of my pets would chase them out first, but my front yard seems to be cat heaven or something. I always have cats to watch when sitting on the couch in front of the window

It's officially fall here, but we just had a (probably last of this year) surprise-it's-still-summer-week with a whopping 20C/68F degrees in october . But now we're dropping fast and the rain started again, it's about time...although i rather have the warm weather.

I love fortune cookies!...we don't have them here, they're even rare in Chinese restaurants

Hahaha PYRO!!! YAY ~huggles tightly~ Welcome back , pretty fireworks

SF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ~huggles tight~ good to see you again Beautiful name Danuki, i like the sound of it

Some of you might have figured something is going on in my health department, and yes, it's kinda complicated so here's the short version (hopefully). I've already been struggling with energy deficiency for many years, somewhere around 10 - 15 years ago it started, and over the years it got worse and worse. Generally they call it fatigue, but i don't agree, it's not simple fatigue, it's much more than that. The everyday things in life cost me much more energy than it would other people, as an example: if i go to the bar an evening with a friend i usually go from 8 pm to 12 pm and am in bed by 1 am, i don't drink alcohol anymore these days because of meds ~grumbels~, it will cost me 2-3 days to recover from it, longer if i couldn't resist drinking 1 beer. If i don't get the chance to recover or ignore the fatigue and am my stubborn self my body will retaliate and knock me down completely with a few days making me feel like i have the flue. So that's the problem in short. I've been to my general practitioner (is that correct for the regular doctor?) a few times over the years, but i didn't get any further than a bloodtest and her telling me i was perfectly healthy. In the end i gave up because i didn't have the energy left to deal with that and i focused on fighting to get true every day and get everything done that i should/wanted. You can guess that in the end that ended in a huge depression (which my friends on facebook can't have missed...). I finally changed my regular doctor and one thing let to another and i finally got to that one to send me to a specialist in the hospital who at the first meeting told me "No matter what we'll have to do, no matter how long in'll take, we'll figure out what it is", it was the best thing i had heard in a loooong time. But meanwhile things happened and i wasn't able to fight the fatigue anymore suddenly and i ended up long term sick at home and wasn't able to work even my part-time hours anymore, this all happened about 3 months ago. ....so far for short... I'm not sure if you are familiar with this or understand what i'm talking about, but here's the thing; Here every employee has "health benefits" that means that when you get sick your employer will keep paying you (most of) your pay. But that of course means you also have obligations as a sick person to your employer. We have company doctors who's job it is to get you back to work as soon as possible, and there's nothing wrong with that you would say, problem is those company doctors get paid by the company and are on their side of course, and they are less/different educated than the general practitioner. But they do have a big say in what you should do to get back to work and if you don't cooperate the employer is allowed to stop paying you. Now i'm at the stage where the specialist is still figuring out what disease i have, i get tested and than have to wait for result to do the next examination, although there is one big contestant which is chronic fatigue syndrome/ME, but they can only say you have than when all other possibilities are ruled out. Now my company doctor is already convinced i have cfs and already had some therapies in mind she could "send me to" when they finally say i indeed have it, at first i didn't think much of it, it sounded pretty good what she told about it. But I assume that when they indeed say i have that the specialist will probably refer me to a doctor who is specialized in that disease. Now my problem is; i get to be treated by 2 completely separate doctors??? If one says i have to get therapy here and the other wants me to go there i have to do 2 therapy's? What if one says to try out this medicine that might help lessen the symptoms and the other says i need to try out those other medicine??? I tried looking it up on who has highest say in this situation, but every article says different things, and mainly it's not favorable to me and they say i have to listen to the company doctor who hardly knows anything about the disease and how to treat it... Now probably if it's a good doctor she would just follow the specialist....but those company doctors have some extraordinary ideas sometimes...so this makes me very worried about my treatment.. (and if there is one thing fatal for my health it is worrying about things) For now i can only wait and see, and hope for the best i guess... Sorry it has gotten such long story after all .

Happy Birthday!!!

.... he's getting married!!! It is about time (he's 41), and i did wish he would find a nice girl that would make him happy and would take care of him... So i'm happy my wish has been heard, but why does it hurt so much? It's not official yet, but he did give a huge warning by saying "I hope to get married soon....soon i have some good news." Why are my guys all slowly getting married (last summer also the first of the 6 boy-band members)? They are my lifeline that it isn't hopeless when you're single at my age... (Seriously though, Korean life standards are starting to brainwash me...i used to not care about marriage and a woman having to take care of her man...weird)

So, i've writen a few fanfics and i think some people where interested here. They're all about my favourite korean boyband Shinhwa, so the caracters probably won't mean much to you...but that doesn't really matter much i think. Warning: they are all horribly fluffy and romantic, but except for one no almost 18+ or boyxboy. Descriptions are there when you click the link, if you're interested. "The weird fan" is my first and longest fanfic i wrote: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1055152/the-weird-fan-romance-shinhwa-you-junjin-foreigner-shinhwaandyou-shinhwachangjo These are a few short story's/one shots "P.s. I love you": https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1110330/p-s-i-love-you-ericmun-shinhwa-you-foreigner-shinhwaandyou-shinhwachangjo Got the best comment ever : "I love this so much, could be a small screen act of romantic actor Mun" "Dragon": https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1077386/dragon-shinhwa-you-junjin My bias has a dragon tattoo (found out after i started to like him btw) and i actually have a necklace that's almost the same "Soulmate": https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1164985/soulmate-romance-shinhwa-hyesung-shinhyesung-shinhwachangjo-shinhwaandshcj ...probably the worst one i guess... And then there is this one...kinda embarrassing, but after seeing there are people who might like it i decided to share anyway. This one is almost 18+ and boy x boy, i wrote it because many fans like this kind of story, and i wanted to try once but it's indeed not my cup-of-tea to write ;). It is also a multi chaptered story: https://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1064249/the-bodyguard-from-america-ericmun-shinhwa-junjin-ricjin So... yeah... if you want to read feel free, and let me know what you think of it. I have been working on another one evolving around the tv show "Runningman", but unfortunately it;'s been a year since i got the first part finished, and then things happened with me, and the tv show and then i didn't have any inspiration anymore/writers block...and now i wish i could continue again, but just...guess still writers block or something. I do think it was/would be a good story...

Someone mention fanfics???? Lately haven't read much, but i did read allot a while back, i also wrote a few (still planning to share the link in the writers forum). Although you won't know my subjects probably, i read all kind of fanfics about my boyband Shinhwa. I must say, allot of people think that fanfics equal 18+ but there are also many wonderful other kinds of story's, not only romance but i also read some awesome fantasy story's. But like @hirondellekinda mentioned, 6 guys do call for allot of 18+ stuff...without other characters joining in

Hihi, almost felt like doing the same No, i've been using make up now since one year or something. In comparison to some of my colleague's only a little bit, but compared to other people around me i'm kinda the only one using make-up. I kinda like it, somehow indeed makes me feel more confident, and i would want to look nice for my future boyfriend, may i happen to bump into him on the street ;). It's kinda like if you're wearing your baggy clothes or not when going outside now. Although originally i didn't feel like this either all true my teens and twenty's....imagine having to figure out how to use make-up when your over 30 , luckily i had a very understanding and experienced colleague who i could ask a bit hihihi

Oohh i love this hihi!

Thanks for sharing @fantasymom, i like it

Wwaaahhh ~pounces and huggles @Kenai~ (Sorry for my late reply, i was gone for a couple of days...i just see this now) First of, you're SO lucky your husband is understanding, that's really awesome! I understand you just found out there's a name for not liking sex? It took me years, and allot of weird thoughts before i found out...i really thought i was probably the only one in the world, or maybe 1 other person somewhere on this huge globe that felt like this. I'm the same as you, i also love being hugged and kissed (it's been too long ) and cuddling, just not the sex that usually comes after it. I also don't think it matters to me if it's a male or female, although i lean a bit more towards the males. I found out a couple of years ago, and was pretty active on the AVEN forums. You know them? It's THE international community for asexuals (forums per country as well), if you haven't been there you should check it out, tons of information and like minded people. There's also room for partners and other interested people. True there i've actually been in a (pretty well known) female magazine here with my story hihi. There are allot of types in the asexuality, like you said there are romantic and a-romantic's within the romantics they further downsized it to gay and bi-, and then there are grey-asexuals they only like sex with THAT particular person, what i understand it's kinda like only with your soulmate. Then there are people who are able/willing to have sex for their partner and just don't care for it, and people who are almost get sick with the thought of having sex...and everything in between , so many different shades of purple Well, if you wanna talk or share thought about it, i'm all for it. @TimberwolfI totally get the hair thing (my best friend has the same thing), i have it when someone is stroking my back...doesn't matter who does it; i'm just in heaven @hirondelleIt's a difficult situation for everyone, i would love to hear more of what it was like from the other side if you want to share. I was in a relationship back then also, although i don't think it was because of the asexuality that we broke up but because i/we didn't love eachother anymore. I do feel like if i would be in a relationship with a sexual person, and i did kinda back then as well, that i feel bad for not being able to meet their needs and give them what they want. (do i say it correct like this?)

Haha awesome, i knew it was 42, but not why it was 42.

Welcome back @Forest Mage, good to see you again! ~huggles tightly~ Damn that was confusing first thing in the morning

Welcome back Deano...i'm not sure if i remember your name.

Hihi, if you want me to i will. LOL, i'm not worried about that, i have a big dog that will cuddle you to dead

oohh sure, no prob, nothing weird in

@TimberwolfActually reading around on the forum made me feel allot better, lots of funny comments And i think it was the wake-up alarm that sounded this morning that made me cranky LOL