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Everything posted by fox

  1. I mean the sub-forum name is great, but the thread is fun, too. What made you happy today? A picture. A picture of a friend I miss made me happy today. And he looks happy, and that's how I love him and remember him. Happy. And it made me happy (in a bittersweet way) to see that, and I'm glad it's here.
  2. It's a forum of many emotions. Today. I put too much responsibility on myself. As a general rule. But today was a big example of that. I'm trying to blame myself for everything that's going sideways in my life, and it's bullshit. I absolutely have responsibility, but it's not a one-way street and I need to remember that.
  3. MERRY CHRISTMAS! And happy everything else you celebrate! Because I have people who don't celebrate Christmas. For them it was Happy Monday, but hey - even that's worth celebrating. Seriously though. I'm late to the party on this (it's been a year guys. A goddamn year), but I truly hope you all had a beautiful December 25th (and weekend before, and week before that, and month before that, and year before that, and life in general)! <3 AND I hope you have an awesome rest of 2017. And fuck do I wish you a phenomenal 2018. It seems like just about everyone I know needs a good goddamn new year.
  4. fox

    What are you reading at the moment?

    Just finished Glory by Gillian Wigmore (local author). First fiction book I've finished in a LONG time and it was outstanding and important (to me).
  5. Hah. Touché. ...whiskey....
  6. Mindhunter and Fargo, with Punisher waiting in the wings, and excitement for Jessica Jones S2.
  7. Jurassic World (on Netflix). I heckled the screen. ...a lot....
  8. fox

    Happy Birthday, hirondelle!

    I r late, 2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL HUMAN! I hope you had a marvelous everything.
  9. fox

    What made you sad?

    You. Just love. So very much love. And cuddles. And tea/coffee. And quiet, peaceful, screamifyouneedit love.
  10. fox

    What made you sad?

    So sorry, FM. <3 Lots of love. I hope you and your loved ones are finding peace and love and whatever you need at this time.
  11. fox

    Well... balls.

    Give them a hug. If yours are anything like mine, they relish the opportunity to give love to their momma, and sometimes you don't even need to tell them why. And if you do, it's just because you're sad and need some love, sometimes they just need to know that, too. It's okay to be sad. You can give them reasons when you're ready. As for the love and words, that's a lot. A lot a lot. It's what you have, it's genuine, it's from your soul. I understand feeling useless, but you're not. Being there, thinking thoughts, and being a place they know they can come for words or with words, is a lot.
  12. It's FAIRLY stereotypical, but the births of my boys were mine. For the eldest, it was that moment, in transition, when I literally said "this is really fucking cool," just before his delivery. For the littlest, it was the entire (incredibly fucking fast) labour and delivery (except the back labour. NOT a good feeling). I caught him, and cut his chord. It was incredible. I need to note here that it's not JUST because that's when I met my boys, which is, of course, glorious. But, almost more importantly (for me), it's when I recognized the primal, vicious strength I possess. I learned to completely let go in those moments (I am a BIT of a control freak), and it was fucking stunning. (Please note: I am NOT one of those orgasmic birth folks. It hurt. A lot. )
  13. fox

    Well... balls.

    Oh. Sugar. I'm sorry. First, that's awful and sad and all of the things. Secondly, what a shitty (though fascinating) way to discover that news. I hope your aunty is being well taken care of. And I hope you can connect with her and your family in any way you need or want at this time. Lots and lots of love, beautiful. /Hugs.
  14. I love live music. Concerts make me happy. I don't know what The Best was. But I have seen KISS (twice), which was outstanding (the Vancouver show was better than the local one, but it was amazing to see them here), and AC/DC (also twice. The first time, in Tacoma, was outstanding. Maybe, actually, my best concert experience. Because it was AC/DC and we had phenomenal seats in a fairly intimate atmosphere). Ohhhhhhhhhhh...Apocalyptica in the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver was breathtaking. ...it's hard to pick, guys. I LOVE concerts.
  15. Three new writing ideas. I have no idea if I'll make time for any of them, but having real writing ideas (as opposed to work-related promotion/ad writing ideas) is really lovely.
  16. Remembering that I'm worth loving. (By my Self. Like. Obviously the people who love me, but I'm actually worth my own love. I'd forgotten that. In a monumental way. I'm getting a glimpse tonight. It's powerful and amazing and I'm happy for it and I hope I can keep and grow this feeling.)
  17. fox

    (The) Because (Thread)

    Because first it made me sad. And because then it made me really fucking frustrated. And because then it motivated me to prove a bitch wrong. And because THEN it made me amused. Because she's not a good person. Because she is not innocent. Because she is deeply, DEEPLY fucking flawed. Because I'm not fucking broken. I'm bruised, but I'm not fucking broken. Because GFY, asshole.
  18. fox

    What made you sad?

    Editing something old. Because of how it could be used now. If it could be used now. Because it would be. Because of course it would be. Fuck.
  19. @Spyder That's badass. @hirondelle - did you know about this?
  20. fox

    Hold on. Wait. What...?

    WHOA. WhatsApp. I HAVE WHATSAPP, SPY. Wanna chat!?
  21. fox

    Hold on. Wait. What...?

    We're so out of touch, Spy. Three or four years. Ugh. Rad piece, though! I really dig that. And I love the translation. Baller.
  22. fox

    (The) Because (Thread)

    Because shoveling. Without you, and your gym counterpart, I would have just cried all day. INSTEAD, I worked out. SO. Win.
  23. Weeeeeeeeee! Spinning like a top. Guys. Life is balls. Just. Like okay, I know things are good and there's good. But fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck can it just go suck a fucking cock. Today sucks. Yesterday sucked. I wanted really bad things. It was ugly. THANKFULLY there was shovelling. And vodka. And then more shovelling. Because fuck.
  24. I love that you exist and that you drive that whole thinking thing that we do. But. Could you MAYBE just hold on to one positive thought? ...one time...? I'm having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day. Like. I joke, but today was bad. It's not awful right now, because I just dove all-in on a project for work. Having typed that, I'm sure it'll get bad again - if history tells me anything. I am absolutely unable to focus on anything positive today. I mean that's fairly standard, but usually there's something. Nope. Noooooooooooope. The world is shit, I hate everything*; please stop, I'm getting off. I am living and breathing for the moment my children are in bed and I can go have a hot tub, read, and go to fucking bed. *This is actually wholly inaccurate. I don't hate everything. I just really, really hate myself.