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Wrong time


Tika

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Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time.  I felt kind of pretty when I got ready for work today so I took a selfie.  Then when I looked at it I cringed  (as I usually do).  So I made it black and white and then I felt like I looked kind of pretty again.  

So I look ok in black and white, or in bad lightning.  My body was made for another time too, for a time when women were softer, rounder.  Maybe it's my German heritage but I was built to be a bar maid in lederhosen.  Cleavage for days but hide the stomach and arms lol.

Why are we all so critical of ourselves?  I ask as I adjust my too short sleeves down over my upper arms for the 15 thousandth time tonight.  I mean if we're healthy and happy and we can do everything we need to do why is it so awful that my arms aren't toned.  I gave birth to 3 amazing human beings why do I absolutely hate my stomach and my stretch marks?  Why do I always feel self conscious about my stomach or the fact that those 3 amazing humans separated my abdominal muscles so that I may always look a little pregnant?

I wish I could just truly be comfortable in my own skin.  Some days I love me but lately those days are few and far between.  Most days lately I cringe when I see myself, or when I think about myself too much, and then I just want to hide in the dark cave that is my bedroom and not see or talk to anyone.  

But I guess I'll leave it at that, try to see myself through a softer lens... And maybe in black and white.

20171013_025829.jpg

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3 Comments


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hirondelle

Posted

Good post. I have the hardest time loving myself / accepting myself too.  I don't even have the baby making excuse for being a mess.

Also - I like you in colour, but yes you do have an old-timey beauty.  Although I think I see you as that voluptuous wild west hooker type (I don't mean that offensively it is one of my favourite looks, lmao). But yeah, silk lace ribbons and liquor would suit you fine. 

 

 

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Timberwolf

Posted

I love to see a woman loving herself.  Oh, wait.  That isn't what you were talking about.  Reads again

Oh yeah, that's what I meant.  You do have a classic look.  That being said, I've always had a thing for women with curves, I mean I love all women, regardless of shape or size, but there is something special about curvy women.  There is just something so nice about a curvy woman.  

I think it's terrible how society and advertising make women feel like shit for having curves, how they make women feel like shit.  

It's even worse here in Thailand.  I worked with you lady, and when we started working with each other, she was slim, but her boyfriend told her how Thai women were better because of how skinny they were, so this young woman felt she needed to lose weight.  When I see her now, I feel she is too skinny, not healthy at all, but it's hard, because generally, Thai women are more slender than western women, so quite a few western women that come here think they need to lose weight to compete, and that's just wrong.  

Any way, that's just my opinion.  :D 

I think that picture is great by the way.

Tika

Posted

On 10/13/2017 at 3:40 AM, hirondelle said:

Good post. I have the hardest time loving myself / accepting myself too.  I don't even have the baby making excuse for being a mess.

Also - I like you in colour, but yes you do have an old-timey beauty.  Although I think I see you as that voluptuous wild west hooker type (I don't mean that offensively it is one of my favourite looks, lmao). But yeah, silk lace ribbons and liquor would suit you fine. 

 

 

That is the best compliment ever! :x. And I think you're absolutely beautiful as you are.

Thank you @Timberwolf I agree that curves on a woman are beautiful, I'm much more drawn to curvy women myself (I'm just harder on me lol.  And thank you ^_^

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