You know how sometimes you feel a feeling that is hard to explain?

The other day I had a conversation with Dom that started with me longing to go back to the day Dom stepped off the plane and go through it all again appreciating everything more. Dom gave me a (textual) hug and reminded me that I appreciated everything plenty the first time around so I had nothing to regret / do better.

And while I agree I also can't shake the longing... there were things I threw away that I should have saved and things I saved that I should have thrown away.  

I don't mean possessions. Well I don't only mean possessions.  What I mean is:

• I wish I had watched less TV and read more books.
• I wish I had travelled more and spent more time in nature.
• I wish I had spent less money.
• I wish I had learned Thai properly.
• I wish I had had more conversations and sent fewer texts.
• I wish I had clung fiercely to The Northlands and the Northlanders, working harder to heal the wounds rather than tear them open wider.
• I wish I had never ever started a Facebook* and Instagram account and instead of hours wasted on them I wish I had continued my blog.
• I wish I had gone from vegetarian to vegan rather than omnivore.
• I wish I had laughed more and cried less.       I wish I still could.

*actually I don't regret joining facebook, but I wish I had deleted my account on the day I realised (fluff) friends was never coming back