Well... balls.

[Kitty]

So I had a dream... Well a nightmare last night. In it I was in Disneyland with my other half and his brother plus all our respective children. Due to missing part of a boxing match my brother-in-law starts complaining and I ended up getting in a really huge argument with him. I then stormed off yelling over my shoulder "by the way, my aunty just died, thanks for being so understanding!"

The dream felt so real and has been bothering my all day. And then just now my dad rings, turns out my Aunty in Australia is on her death bed.

[fox]

Oh. Sugar. I'm sorry. First, that's awful and sad and all of the things. Secondly, what a shitty (though fascinating) way to discover that news.

I hope your aunty is being well taken care of. And I hope you can connect with her and your family in any way you need or want at this time.

Lots and lots of love, beautiful. /Hugs.

[Kitty]

Thanks love, I have been in contact with my Uncle, Grand and Cousin over there. Can't do much but offer love and words. I feel like it's nothing and that I am so useless. It's tough with the kids as Lily has spoken to my Uncle on Skype, but not my Aunty. I am not sure whether to say anything to her now or wait until after my Aunty passes. The other half works until late so the whole time I am "normal happy mummy" and I don't really think about it until the kids are in bed, but I feel guilty that I do that. I want so much to give them all a hug.

[fox]

Give them a hug. If yours are anything like mine, they relish the opportunity to give love to their momma, and sometimes you don't even need to tell them why. And if you do, it's just because you're sad and need some love, sometimes they just need to know that, too. It's okay to be sad. You can give them reasons when you're ready.

As for the love and words, that's a lot. A lot a lot. It's what you have, it's genuine, it's from your soul. I understand feeling useless, but you're not. Being there, thinking thoughts, and being a place they know they can come for words or with words, is a lot.  

[Kitty]

Thank you beautiful, I just heard today that my Aunty has gone.

When I said I wish I could hug them, I was referring to my aunt/uncle/cousin/grandma who are all in Australia. I hadn't made that clear before. My cousin is only 15, an only child. The funeral is Monday, my uncle's birthday is Tuesday. My grandma has now watched bother her Son's wives die. I can't imagine their pain and I want to hold them until there are no tears left. This will be a bleak Christmas for them.