Therapy

[hirondelle]

After years of pretending to be ok and failing I have been persuaded (by people who care about me) to have therapy.  I am going to see a CBT trained therapist weekly at the moment.  It is interesting, I have only had two sessions and while I am getting better at recognising problems I haven't learned really how to fix them haha.  So it kind of feels worse, but at least I have the sense that I am 'on it'.  There is a relief at least in looking under the rug (that I have been sweeping shit under) and acknowledging what is there.

Anyone else have experience with therapy? Good or bad? Or would like to try it?

[fox]

I have been through four counselors before finding The One (for my current life). I have been seeing her for over a year now. It began with a story about an aspect of my personal life that I believed was The Problem. Turned out that while it was A Problem, it wasn't the necessary focus. (Spoiler alert.) I was the focus. The work that I have done has been pretty huge, actually. 

So while I haven't attended a structured therapy program, I see a counselor on a very regular basis and I won't go back to not speaking with someone. This is necessary for my life. I am happy to talk about any aspect of it.

ALSO. I have just finished a course (in our Social Work program at UNBC) that included a lot of art therapy (in use, specifically with victims of abuse, as that was the focus of the course). I would be super interested in pursuing art therapy. (As a client, not a facilitator.)

[hirondelle]

Thanks @fox it is good to know I am not alone!  It is wonderful, and fascinating and horrible at the same time.  Therapy makes you more aware but it also makes life more difficult.  I realise I have spent a lot of time trying to be very accommodating, and deep down I want to change that and be more assertive.  But also you worry that the people who love you won't love you (as much / in the same way / at all) if you are less accommodating.  Also it means you are less fluffy and even a bit of an asshole at times.  It is hard to maintain healthy boundaries and not be a bit of a dick on occasion... especially if it is new to you.  So I have this inner war, and also some fears.

[fox]

It's funny when you consider how much self-sacrifice accompanies accommodating people, and similar (and almost worse) self-sacrifice at the thought of not harnessing that assertiveness at the risk of changing relationships based on probably unfair accommodation by establishing and strengthening boundaries. 

I feel this on a hard fucking visceral level.

However. My most primary relationship is shifting in a huge way, so my boundary concerns are probably vastly different at this juncture. That said, I think anyone who loves you will appreciate positive, healthy evolution and will work with you, even when it's uncomfortable and difficult. It won't always be harmonious and it will get messy, but it will be worth it and they will recognize that. imo.

[fox]

I believe this:

[Timberwolf]

On 4/12/2019 at 10:51 PM, fox said:

That said, I think anyone who loves you will appreciate positive, healthy evolution and will work with you, even when it's uncomfortable and difficult.

It isn't always easy, but you are absolutely correct @fox, it is worth it.  I'm glad @hirondelleis doing it.