But there's one thing about it that i don't mind at all, that is as little as possible having to interact with people. I have good contact with my best friend and mom who i see at least once a week or more, and the last few weeks i go for "treatment" so i see mostly 2 or 3 people there once a week. But that's about it besides once in a few months someone else and the people in the grocery store, and i definitely like it.
Even the thought of having to work somewhere again scares me, i don't want to be stuck with (that kind of) people every day again. Maybe it's just because of my colleague's of the past 12 years that i feel like that, i mean they where nice and all but we had absolutely nothing in common, i was even the only one who did that work, i was like a construction worker between a bunch of secretary's and ceo's....
But lately it's getting even worse, more and more i feel like i life in my own little world the size of my house, when i have to go shopping or whatever i step into another world. I can get around in that other world it's not that that's scary or difficult, but i rather just not. Time really flies so fast in the world outside of my house i can't keep up. When i have to arrange things with people in that other world it's problematic, it easily can take me 5 days to answer an e-mail without me even noticing it's already been almost a week, and company's start whining "you only have 1 week to submit the form, otherwise we won't do it anymore" things like that, i'm always running behind the facts.
I once tried playing a version of the Sim's (you remember that life simulation game?) on an older computer or something, i'm not really sure what the problem was there. Anyway, the time didn't go as it should be, by the time i had the game persona out of bed, showered and dressed i didn't even get the chance to have breakfast or leave the house because it was already night time again. It feels like that...by the time i have had my coffee and walked the dog and am ready to start the day/doing things, most of the morning is already over, and not because i get out of bed late, i guess i just move slower, everything takes me more time. Even the dog starts whining that it takes too long for me to get ready to get out of the door.
So i'm really worried about how i'm going to life in that world outside of my house if i ever get well enough to work again.
But in the meantime i don't have any problem with being a hermit it the city (outside the city would be even better) and living in my own little world filled with unattainable daydreams.
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