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Dulcet

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  1. Dulcet

    Mental Holiday

    By Dulcet,


    Mental health
    Over the past 16 weeks I have been going through a lot of health struggles both mentally and physically. My diabetes was beginning to show signs I might need to actually take care of myself, and I was approaching what is called full blown mania. This was not a good thing for my health. Despite my strong history of working for mental health advocacy, I neglected to take care of myself or have what is called self-care.
                   From Christmas Eve until Martin Luther King Day, I was hospitalized in two different psychiatric units. This was not strange to me and should not be to anyone seriously following my story after 20 years. However, this time was challenging as opposed to relaxing. They were units I was unfamiliar with, outside of my usual comfortable check-ins to DuPage County psychiatric units.
                   Through this experience I learned I need to focus on my health first before I focus on my career. When I finally got home, I received my diploma in the mail stating I had completed my master’s degree in Geographic Information Systems at Elmhurst University on December 16, 2023. That document is now my most prized possession I own, and I will cherish it.
                   Moving forward, I want to pursue grant writing, as that was the part I had loved helping out with during my employment last year working for a nonprofit. There is a cheap online class I wish to take online to help me pursue that goal in adding grant writing to my tool belt.
     
    https://www.gofundme.com/f/brians-grant-writing-class-fund
     
    Stay tuned for future updates!
  2. Dulcet

    Settling In

    By Dulcet,

    After ditching my homework for a few days to come on here, I finally got a half assed version of it done. I'm definitely no good at Java programming, but I'll turn in what I have if the prof doesn't respond. I am seriously done stressing out over it.
    Good news on the therapy front. I have an appointment with a therapist that accepts my insurance for later next month. That will help me immensely.

    I also wanted to share that my new glasses came in today. I have had the same frames (different lenses) for over 10 years. I like them a lot.
    I'll update this this more as the week goes on. I'm in the mood to update it more than Facebook simply for the fact that for every 9 things I post, I get maybe 3 people reading something. Here the response rate is much more pleasurable. 
  3. Dulcet

    New Heights

    By Dulcet,

    For the longest time I have had to the urge to write. Or at the very least, express my feelings about stuff going on in my life. This has been very hard over the past year due to some major changes in my life as well some major changes beyond my control. For those that do not know, I live with a condition called bipolar. I'm in a federally funded government program that provides housing for people like me with mental illness and I have been in the program since 2009. Since I have been in the program I have done very well and have gotten a better grapple on my illness. I am able to manage my symptoms more effectively and control my anger better than before. However, there is still some work to be done. Over the past year, a lot of good things have happened. Our complex got bought out so we were forced to move to another location, which is in a much nicer area. I also finally have landed two really decent room mates who are not that crazy and have some sort of geek card,which is a blessing. For years I had terrible room mates I dreaded and this community has served as a refuge for me for many years, regardless of the boards being up or down. 
    The good news is there is light at the end of the tunnel. In the spring I will be graduating from American InterContinental University Online with a BS in IT. I have no idea what I want to do with it yet, but with that degree I will finally be able to get a real job and afford a better place for me and my room mates. Also, in the spring we are moving out to a building across the way our landlord bought along with the buildings he did when we moved. The catch is we have to do our chores regularly to a tee because our staff wants to write us a good letter of recommendation. Carrot over our heads. The reality is, with a degree I'll be able to get a better job and hopefully a better place for us. That's the good news.
    The bad news is pretty shitty for me. The program I'm in is through the county's health department and DuPage is up there with the richest, so it does indeed provide good mental health services. However, since I moved here in December, they switched over to a new system around the time Trump took office. I'll remind you we are a federally funded program so Bruce Rauner's BS didn't affect us. But they have refused to let me see a therapist until I go to a group at these certain locations. More importantly, they want me to work on something short term and specific with the therapist. Well I'm being specific by writing this blog and I need an outlet to express my emotions. Holding them in is not healthy for me. I am doing fine, yes, and there is no need to worry, but this is the longest period in my life I have gone without seeing a therapist. I do have a case worker that manages my case, but she is not licensed. She does help me with my diabetes which I currently struggling with, but as far as i can tell the best excuse I have gotten from management is "There is a lot of changes with funding and the government now." And for fuck's sake, I do hate Trump, but this is beyond political. I'm stable and being denied service. Think of all the others who need the service more desperately that are being denied. For the county to deny service like this is a big deal. My housing is secure, which is good, but I cannot say the same for others. That is why I glad I will be out of the situation I have been in soon.
    The most frustrating thing is I do not have anyone to relate to. I'm the only one in two buildings that has any hope at getting a decent job. I say this as I am the only one who goes to school and plans to get OFF social security checks. When you live on the fixed income we do, you are not allowed to earn over a certain amount (usually $2000/month). So you're stuck in a clusterfuck. When you live in a community where goals are not set too high, it's tough. That's why I would like to talk to normal or other people outside of my little bubble. Brain cells are wasting away. I'm the smart guy for reading and knowing what logic is. 
  4. Dulcet

    Goals

    By Dulcet,

    Completing my bachelor's degree has always been one of my long term goals. My health, living situation, and drive have been major road blocks along the way, but now finally i can take my hands off the wheel and coast to graduation. My degree is in Information Technology with a Specialization in Software Analysis and Design. Most of the people I go to school with are already employed in the field one way or another and just need a piece of paper to advance their career. Me, I only come from retail experience and what professional experience I do have, no one cares for it being that I have no certifications. When people hear I'm in IT they immediately assume I can do X, Y, and Z to their computer and fix it or create stunning websites on the fly or for free. Nope, I'm a dumbass on hardware. Utter dumbass, self admitted. Do I know terminology, yes.  But my hands get sweaty pretty quick and wet hardware is not so sexy. My area of expertise is more regarding software, but not programming. Let me explain specifically what I mean by the class I'm currently in. Buy the end of it I'll get to my point so you have some context. 
    In our capstone class we were assigned the mother of all group projects. Each class is 5 weeks long and this was no different except we had to contribute each week individually and to the group. The scenario was as follows:
    Pretty daunting right?
    Other specializations in our IT cohort are Network Administration, Digital Investigations, and Information Assurance and Security.
    I was coming in from the software end. My three group mates were networking/hardware guys. So we were evenly stacked and they were very heavy on the hardware end as far as specs and network topology goes. Each of us contributed equally to the project and we each pulled our own weight. One person was assigned to each area: networking, security, and hardware, software. Some groups had less tow work with so it was nice having all areas covered and all group members actively participating. 
    Week 4 was my area in software and it was my time to shine. Being the lone software expert in the group, I felt the weight on my shoulders. My group had done a stellar job on their ends and my end only had one week and then we got out grade. My end involved the functionality of the proposal. Here's the important part. i may specialize in software development, but coding is NOT my forte. NO CODING WAS REQUIRED FOR THIS. This made me happy because I knew that meant diagrams.
    Attached below are the diagrams I created for the project. Which I'm damn fucking proud of:




    We ended up with an A.
    Now here's my point. I hated doing all that. I hated working with folks that dreaded any form of communication and refused to let down their ego. With the exception of this last group, that was the norm. The diagrams may be fancy, but they were too easy.
    Data science has always fascinated me since I took an independent study course at my community college. Yes I could go out and pursue software development but I hate coding and I hate all that I learned in my program. Data science is a more solid career and having a graduate degree in my passion has always been my goal.
    I have a domain set up for when I'm ready to post my portfolio. It's going to be stuff not normally seen due the casual eye. What spawned this passion was the recent outcry over children being separated from their families here at the U.S. border. There was a call to match a parent with child. What steamed me was our country's Homeland Security [expletive] could not answer for where a certain kind of child was. With all do respect to our government, Obama has released data that has been in statistics textbooks for ages. Ya'll seen Avengers: Infinity War? I have not, but I'm pretty damn sure there's a growing need for more people studying data science than being entertained by Marvel and the media.
     

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