Tika

Thank you that means a lot 

I can't really isolate myself, kids, work, life won't really allow it.  It probably doesn't help much that it's winter (otherwise known as hibernation season) here still.

I think my job and my hours isolate me in a way too, working nights I can't sleep on nights I'm off and I spend a lot of time alone at work with nothing but my own toxic thoughts.  I'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, I know it's there but damn it's dark here in the middle.

And nursing is a rough field for depression, too many final moments this winter.

Love this...  more of this please lol.  

On 11/21/2017 at 6:25 PM, hirondelle said:

Me too 

~hugs~

~snuggles @hirondelle~

Thank you . Last night was just rough, I still really struggle with the whole death part of my job.  I try to let it make me enjoy the life I have but it's so damn hard some days.

~hugs @hirondelle & @Timberwolf~

That's just what it took to make it to adulthood...  I try not to live with regrets although I fully realise my childhood screwed up parts of me.  But it also made me who I am.  And on my good days I really like who I am, and on the other days I'm glad I'm strong if nothing else.  I had a therapist try to do hypnotic regression therapy with me once to help my ptsd but I couldn't do it more than once.

I like that this has that tip of the iceberg feel to it, like you just know there's so much more out there 

Well written with a nice little twist

Thank you @Squarepeg good for you   It's hard to be selfish if you're the kind of person who takes care of everyone else.  I've found lately though it's getting harder and harder for me to take care of anyone especially me

I gave myself away a long time ago.  I've been trying to reclaim myself but it's hard going.  And there have been some setbacks along the way...  it's in my nature to give but I know giving too much isn't good for me

Yeah I feel the same, I try to find something that makes me laugh or at least smile every day or I'd go crazy...  like the little old lady who smacked my ass last night or the one who was telling the toilet paper roll it was a cute puppy lol.

On 10/13/2017 at 3:40 AM, hirondelle said:

Good post. I have the hardest time loving myself / accepting myself too.  I don't even have the baby making excuse for being a mess.

Also - I like you in colour, but yes you do have an old-timey beauty.  Although I think I see you as that voluptuous wild west hooker type (I don't mean that offensively it is one of my favourite looks, lmao). But yeah, silk lace ribbons and liquor would suit you fine. 

 

 

That is the best compliment ever! . And I think you're absolutely beautiful as you are.

Thank you @Timberwolf I agree that curves on a woman are beautiful, I'm much more drawn to curvy women myself (I'm just harder on me lol.  And thank you 

Thank you guys I'll definitely try 

I haven't tried that, I have problems getting my mind to be still, like, ever...  I'll have to look into that 

Thank you it was fun to do and I can see how it could be a bit addictive if I can get past that awkward talking to myself thing lol.

~snuggles~ I love being properly friends now 

Oh my goodness your voice and your accent!  I could listen to you read the phone book lol.    I think I may have mentioned somewhere I have a thing for voices and yours is wonderful!  I love the rambling too it really does present a whole other side of you from what comes across through text.

~sits and waits patiently for more~