What made you sad?

[hirondelle]

On 10/8/2019 at 10:22 AM, Forest Mage said:

My Uncle who was battle throat cancer passed away today.

I'm so sorry Forest Mage

[Forest Mage]

23 hours ago, hirondelle said:

I'm so sorry Forest Mage

Thank  you hun.    *hugs*

[Moonhawk]

Sorry for your loss 

 

The fact that my anxious thoughts are still around even if I am more functional.

[Forest Mage]

Thank you Moonhawk

[Forest Mage]

Guess I spoke to soon about someone passing away.   My Mother-in-Law just passed away today.   She was already in the hospital for spinal problems, and we had learned she had fluid in her lungs.   They did test her for the coronavirus but the test for that hasn't come in yet.   I'm thinking it could have been because of the other medical issues she was facing.   

So frustrated because of the virus,  we can be there for my brother-in-law and the rest of his family.   Or there for my sister and niece.   

[hirondelle]

11 hours ago, Forest Mage said:

Guess I spoke to soon about someone passing away.   My Mother-in-Law just passed away today.   She was already in the hospital for spinal problems, and we had learned she had fluid in her lungs.   They did test her for the coronavirus but the test for that hasn't come in yet.   I'm thinking it could have been because of the other medical issues she was facing.   

So frustrated because of the virus,  we can be there for my brother-in-law and the rest of his family.   Or there for my sister and niece.   

I am so sorry Forest Mage.  Sending love and strength to you and yours! 

[Forest Mage]

10 hours ago, hirondelle said:

I am so sorry Forest Mage.  Sending love and strength to you and yours! 

Thank you  hun.

[fox]

Ugh. @Forest Mage - I'm so sorry. That's awful. I hope you and your family are okay.  Much, much love.

Insecurity, regret, and severe mental unrest are my sads today. Fuck sakes. 

Edited April 6, 2020 by fox

[Forest Mage]

6 hours ago, fox said:

Ugh. @Forest Mage - I'm so sorry. That's awful. I hope you and your family are okay.  Much, much love.

Insecurity, regret, and severe mental unrest are my sads today. Fuck sakes. 

Thank you fox.  We are managing as best we can.  Much much love to you as well.

 

Hope you will be alright as well.  *hugs*

[fox]

Stopped things with the gentleman friend and then was witness to a barrage of messages ranging from vitriolic to begging. Lots of what looks like emotional and guilt manipulation (if I was reading it for anyone else; for me, I feel guilty. ...I haven't replied, though. I don't think I can now). Ugh. I really liked him. (But there were flags I didn't love, and my mental health isn't great right now, with all of the everything, so I'm taking a step toward me instead. I need to be healthy for me, and the boys. I do not NEED to be in a relationship.) ...it was a lot to read. 

[Timberwolf]

9 hours ago, fox said:

Stopped things with the gentleman friend and then was witness to a barrage of messages ranging from vitriolic to begging. Lots of what looks like emotional and guilt manipulation (if I was reading it for anyone else; for me, I feel guilty. ...I haven't replied, though. I don't think I can now). Ugh. I really liked him. (But there were flags I didn't love, and my mental health isn't great right now, with all of the everything, so I'm taking a step toward me instead. I need to be healthy for me, and the boys. I do not NEED to be in a relationship.) ...it was a lot to read. 

 A hug for you @fox

[fox]

And now I feel like a piece of human garbage. Fuck.

[hirondelle]

On 5/1/2020 at 1:21 AM, fox said:

Stopped things with the gentleman friend and then was witness to a barrage of messages ranging from vitriolic to begging. Lots of what looks like emotional and guilt manipulation (if I was reading it for anyone else; for me, I feel guilty. ...I haven't replied, though. I don't think I can now). Ugh. I really liked him. (But there were flags I didn't love, and my mental health isn't great right now, with all of the everything, so I'm taking a step toward me instead. I need to be healthy for me, and the boys. I do not NEED to be in a relationship.) ...it was a lot to read. 

Love you @fox

[fox]

 @Timberwolf and @hirondelle

[fox]

It's been eight years. (Well. It will have been eight years tomorrow, but here we are.) I really miss him. I miss him a lot this year. 

Dammit.

[hirondelle]

On 7/25/2020 at 11:15 AM, fox said:

It's been eight years. (Well. It will have been eight years tomorrow, but here we are.) I really miss him. I miss him a lot this year. 

Dammit.

Love you, hope you are feeling a bit better hun

[Dulcet]

Someone near and dear to my childhood passed away today. She was my friend Kelli’s mom. I’d give anything to be with my friend right now to comfort her, but all we have is the phone. I ask that you send good vibes her way for support. I’ll be fine, but I worry for my friend. 
 

Kelli was my prom date in high school. She moved away when we graduated but a mutual friend kept us in touch. 
 

[Kethlia]

First for my nl family near and far. I hope that you remember our love for you grows stronger as you face your lives and it's challenges.  

 

Second, I am here to give voice to my grieving for these past two years and this year as the moment stuck in time when I lost my precious sons. Unexpected gifts of life lost during my first son Devin c. Young on july 28th 2020 at 20 weeks pregnant after being told two weeks prior that we were losing him. Then my second son Cináed I. J. Young on june 24th 2022 at 23 weeks.  Part of the grief is finding out that my womb isn't able to carry full term especially after a cervix cut and the other part is guilt that my child-self standing in front of a microwave to ruin my reproductive self along with my being born premature by two and a half months are to blame. I know otherwise but it doesn't stop the thoughts.  

 

So I have many a night where my mind can't rest for these thoughts or my tears fall from triggers around me. I am here in NL to wander through my sanctuary that helped me before. I hope that in posting this if you grieve as well or share your pain here. That you will know you are not alone. We are here and we care in our own way. Or, to be fair and not speak for others who don't wish me to.  I am here as best as I can be.

[Moonhawk]

Another day another anxiety filled day. Sick of mental illness. Just want it to end. Brain needs an off button

[Timberwolf]

3 hours ago, Moonhawk said:

Another day another anxiety filled day. Sick of mental illness. Just want it to end. Brain needs an off button

[Forest Mage]

This is going to be another shitty year.   My uncle (one of my dads brothers) has lung cancer, and things may or may not go well with surgery.   Not sure when he will be having surgery yet.

 

Plus one of my older sisters will need a defibrillator put in.   She sees a heart doctor on Tuesday.   

[Moonhawk]

The fact that my world is so small with this mental illness bs. 

[Timberwolf]

To bother @Forest Mageand @Moonhawk

[Forest Mage]

On 1/18/2023 at 9:26 PM, Timberwolf said:

To bother @Forest Mageand @Moonhawk

Thank you

[Forest Mage]

Found out on Tuesday that my uncle has stage four lung cancer.  It's in both lungs, plus a few other places as well.  At some point not sure when yet, he'll start chemotherapy. 

 

 

Also my sister had more test done, and it showed that her heart is fine.  But the doctors are still trying to figure out why she fainted twice, and went into A-fib both times.