hirondelle

Me too 

I have zero experience with death so I can't comment.  I have never been in the room when someone died.

Cute dog, cute woman.  Sorry you had a shitty day @Tika (pun intended), but it’s not all death, just the end part. ❤️

Arrrggghhh... you keep starting things and I get excited and then you start another thing!!!

It's a good start.  Another good start.

tough story @Tika I am sorry you went through that

My mum did that to a large extent, but what she couldn't see and what everyone around her could see is that is was a kind of unwanted martyrdom.  Yes, my dad took advantage of it as men of that generation were inclined to do, negligently rather than maliciously... but I think he would have preferred the slightly more selfish version of her.  Their marriage would have been more fulfilling for both of them if she hadn't made it so easy for him to take her for granted.  I know every story is different but I guess you have to balance what you want to do for your children and how you want to empower them.  You have to model independence as well as be there for them. I know you know this.  Glad to hear you found a way to find yourself again @Squarepeg also enjoy the photographs that come from your solitary walks and coffees.

Sorry you feel this bad. I had a bad turn a few years ago where I was replaying a negative loop. It created quite bad insomnia and in the end I had to go to the docs for some pharmaceutical help. He gave me 10 days worth of Xanax which I managed to make last a month haha. Anyway forget what your kids think, it is easy knowing everything when you are young. Focus on putting yourself first for a while  @Tika. Between your job, kids and lover I feel you might be in danger of giving yourself away. Love ya lady... thank you for dreaming of me ❤️

My problem is remembering it is a tool in my toolbox as it were.  I am great when I do it, I just forget I can. 

If you struggle to keep your mind still you might find a guided meditation helpful. Or some white noise / tranquil sounds.

The headspace app has a free 10 intro course https://www.headspace.com/headspace-meditation-app

Calm is also a good app and also they have meditations on their website https://www.calm.com/meditate

I have one more on my phone but it is currently charging - I will post it later.

I hope the schedule change helps Tika, I'm wondering if you have tried mindfulness meditation.  It doesn't help actual exhaustion... but I think it helps with that spiralling sense of shit getting out of control.  I mean it has a seriously - life changing impact.  It is the strongest drug I know... and I love me some xanax, but meditation is better.

Good post. I have the hardest time loving myself / accepting myself too.  I don't even have the baby making excuse for being a mess.

Also - I like you in colour, but yes you do have an old-timey beauty.  Although I think I see you as that voluptuous wild west hooker type (I don't mean that offensively it is one of my favourite looks, lmao). But yeah, silk lace ribbons and liquor would suit you fine. 

Interesting to talk about comfort zone when writing erotica. I guess everything I am interested in writing is outside my comfort zone experientially. If it was in my comfort zone it wouldn't work as erotica... Like reading fantasy without any magic. 

But there are two standards at play... Comfortable to read or write and comfortable to experience. For me they are poles apart. For now at least. 😉

Pretty sure she is a daemon *nods* 

As erotica, reading about frustration doesn't work for me... I am not much for withheld orgasms,,, (as @Timberwolf will attest when he has teased me too long I get angry and I believe I have even kicked him lol).  But as a technical exercise it is interesting, and made an entertaining short.

OMG I loved that, loved listening to you!!  I feel like we are properly friends now - how lovely.

Good start!  Look forward to reading more!

no I was testing how many lines puts the text under the crease  (8)

I tried the other method - stayed on FB but started following some people espousing the opposite viewpoint to me, like Paul Joseph Watson, Steven Crowder and Milo Yiannopoulos (to name but 3).  I noticed a few things.  

1) They are intelligent charismatic guys and do a good job of presenting their bullshit opinions.

2) Watch / read them enough and their shit starts to sound more reasonable.

3) Moving from shit sounding reasonable to actually changing your whole perspective is possible - and not as much of a leap as you think.

4) Once you understand this you realise your opinion is meaningless and founded on whoever you allow to influence you.

5) There is no truth.

6) The people who follow them are all stupid though, just read those comments FFS.

7) As these guys are intelligent they probably know this and don't believe their own bullshit.  They are just doing a job. Entertaining the bottom feeders, for money.

8)  Engaging with this is therefore worse than meaningless.

9) Watching / reading nothing is better, none of it means anything, nihilism is real.

10) Much more free time and complete pass to not give a fuck about politics. At all. Ever again.

You see yourself as an empty vessel but I don’t. I see you as a still lake... yes, you don’t bring drama or noise, you bring calm and tranquility. You are anything but empty though... you are rich in thought and emotion. You might not debate but you can listen and give your opinion and insight.

Anyway I don’t need much... I’m an only child and very self sufficient, so I feel as though I can spend an eternity alone and be fine. Most of my relationships are wants not needs. But as @Timberwolf says wants are choices and can me very powerful, and very beautiful. I am glad we chose each other @Cyrain, I’m sure many of your other friends feel the same.

I agree you are easy to talk to, but you are quiet. Or maybe that is because when @Songmistressand I get together you can't get a word in edgeways.

I love your photography. I love that you see beauty in every one. I think @Timberwolfdoes to. It's a gift I envy. 

Aw @Kethlia and @Tika thank you!! I will definitely make more, I do love a good ramble.

Nice glasses Dulcet! They really suit you! See you may not be quite as sexy as @Kethlia but you are still a hottie 

Thank you Dulcet! 

Wow.  Like Timber I had no idea it was this bad.  I have experienced years of extreme sciatic-like back and leg pain and know how debilitating, exhausting and depressing it can be,  I was actually completely cured by an alternative therapist (an Ayurvedic healer) so never give up hope.

That is a great summary, thank you for posting it.  I have looked into spaced repetition quite a lot and it is great for memorising blocks but you have to combine it with learning how to use the blocks.  You still have to learn the language - outside of memorising the words or what have you.  It is a accessory great tool though, v useful

Yes you can share the one you wrote the other day (that worried me) and the one you said you wrote but was scared to share on FB 

stay here forever Keth, please