Songmistress

Thanks, @hirondelle. I give you the incomparable and SORELY underrated musical genius that is Kevin Hewick: Kevin Hewick (born 4 February 1957, Leicester) is an English singer-songwriter who was an early member of the Factory Records roster and toured with Joy Division. Today he is known for his recordings on Pink Box Records, an independent label based in Leicester, and his recent work with Venetian collective Unfolk. This is a track from his last album 'Touching Stones and Tasting Rain', 'Forgotify'. https://kevinhewick.bandcamp.com/track/forgotify Keep an eye out for Kevin's next studio album coming out later this year. A certain person you know features upon it.

Because I don't have the brain space.

Uh, don't know what fubared that post.... the coding didn't work at all...... I don't know how to fix it. I have the dumb.

On 07/10/2017 at 3:39 AM, Timberwolf said:I’m rereading Shadow’s Edge (Book 2 of the Night Angel trilogy) by Brent Weeks. I don’t know what it is about this series, but I just love it @Squarepeg likes Weeks. I can't read him. I tried. Ended up crying and shaking in a corner, needing to be extra-medicated. He treats his characters as if he, Weeks, is Life, and he tortures them and wrecks and destroys them, as life does to us. He's an excellent writer. But, he's a fucking bastard. That 'The Magic and the Healing' book sounds intriguing. I dig stories that bring together science and magic, like music does. At the moment, I'm reading Eyes of the Dragon by Stephen King.

This I also gave an honest try. But. No. Corn does not belong on a pizza and neither does it belong mixed up together with mayo and tuna fish. I'm actually wondering if anyone has ever had human on a pizza. Like, maybe that's in the Hannibal Lecter cookbook somewhere.

She doesn't get eaten by the eels at this time.

Yeah. This is awkward, but it appears that the song was removed from soundcloud after I posted it. Oh well.

dance in circles

Why am I drinking sherry?

tails

What she said. I avoided Steven King for years because of the 'horror' genre. Insanity. I was missing out. A few years after we were married, @Squarepeg insisted I read The Stand - there was no getting out of it, lol. One of the best books I've ever read.

I like pineapple with many things. On a pizza is NOT one of them. I gave it a chance. I tried it. But, it's just altogether wrong. That being said, people in Britain put corn on pizza. This is just as ridiculous.

I have a painfully long memory is all. And, I suppose, really, that's all that's important: that we fell in love with each other and, against all the things against us, we are still together. As I say, most people have a fairytale life - it's just that it isn't the Disney-fied, sanitised version; it's more the Brothers Grimm sort. Magic and romance and chivalry, it's all there. But, so is the great darkness, the evil. And, in real fairytales, as in faery itself, the characters do not get to come out of their stories unscathed. There are no scar-free tales. Pt 3: If life teaches us anything it's that there are no happily ever afters. Happiness doesn't work like that. Life doesn't work like that. We only ever get glimpses and moments. Glimpses and moments of happiness. They are rare, they are precious. And, without them, this existence would be truly, horrifically, undeniably unbearable. Unbearable. That's how things were getting to be for me back when I realised I was in love with a man who lived 4000 miles and an ocean away from me. The distance really didn't bother me, though. At this point, I was super ignorant of the hell called The Home Office and Immigration which awaited us. That was a nightmare I never even imagined. No, at this point I was simply distraught because I'd, stupidly, fallen in love with a man I thought was unavailable because he was married. Jamie is good at burying things. He didn't tell ANYONE how miserable he was in his marriage or how much mistreatment he had suffered from his then wife. On the board, we all knew Jamie was married, and he never let on that there was anything seriously wrong with the relationship. I just figured that this was a case of me wanting something there was absolutely no way I could have. And, I certainly didn't know that he felt anything for me other than friendship. Now, I have attracted quite a few miserable married men in my long existence. If they were unhappy in their marriages, they'd tell me, in great detail, how much they were being neglected by their wives, how they wished their wives were like me. I heard nary a word or the hint of a word like that from Jamie. I didn't know that he went on holiday and was sad because he was missing me. Or, that he'd gone on a stag night and felt guilty for the things he got up to with the lads, not because of HER, but because of ME. I hadn't a clue, because all I was certain of from him was friendship. I was sure that he did care. So much so that, when it was clear I was struggling with depression, he sent me a long letter to tell me about his sister who had suffered with depression, It was evident that he knew it was a serious thing, and I could tell that he was genuinely concerned for my well-being. I responded. I don't remember much of what I said other than that, at some point, I said, 'and, I guess I should just go ahead and say it: I love you.' I didn't know what he would do with that. I said it in despair. It was an 'I'm so so so sorry. I know this is tragic, please forgive me, I can't help myself, but I love you.' But, I HAD to say it. It ended up he convinced himself that I meant I loved him just as a friend. Now, 14 years have gone by since all this happened. A lot of the timeline gets hazy, So, I'm going to leave out quite a lot that happened - basically for clarity. What went down was, well, me. My mental state took a huge nose dive. I went to bed, stopped eating, and waited to die. I avoided the board. I just avoided being online. I slept as much as I could. I'd had enough of breathing. It was excruciating. I don't know how long my absense was from the board and from the net. I didn't care. About anything. I'd been tired my whole life. I'd always longed for death. I had failed at suicide before, so I didn't 'try anything' again. Honestly, I was too tired to do anything. I got up to go to the toilet because I didn't want to sleep in my own piss, but then I went back to bed. The weariness I felt, the failure at marriage and being a mother, the inability to take care of myself and having to depend on Dana (the one who gave me the book) to take care of me...it was all too much. I'd lived 29 long years. And, it was 29 years too long. And, then, on top of it all, to compound matters even more, I was in love with a married man I could never have! A man I could only feel in my dreams. In the years since that time, I have had many times to be so very angry, to be furious, to be justifiably enraged at the fucking cruel bastard that is life. But, at that point, I was too worn and beaten down and exhausted to be angry. All I knew was a black fatigue and that it, literally, hurt to breathe in and out. ------------- to be continued....

That's weird; it was there when I posted it. It was a soundcloud link. But, it isn't there now.

Tonight, I give you a magical collaborative effort from Simon Waldram and Emzae. Simon is from Nottingham. Emzae is from Derby. They are both singer/songwriters and have solo albums available via bandcamp, but they also perform and - in this case - record together. This is one of the most beautiful fruit that has come from that collaboration. I give you 'Resenah'.

The intimacy with which this songwriter writes can oftentimes be exquisitely painful. But, regardless, it is exquisitely beautiful. The glimpses he gives of the reality of an unbearable pain he packages in these silver-breathed wrappers of intricate finger-picked guitar and very emotive lyrics. I give you no man's heath and A Hundred Imaginary Conversations.

Pt. 2 Now, while I had little life outside reading, the life I did have I had made a right mess of. Or, life had made a right mess of me. Like many who found a home at PI, I was looking for an escape from reality. Jamie was no different; he was looking to get away from a mentally and emotionally abusive wife. My first post on PI was, appropriately, in the welcome forum. Jamie was the first to greet me (and cart my soul off to SoulEx). I would find out later that he had been immediately drawn to my name: 'Songmistress'. The first thing that attracted me to Jamie was his sense of humour. Exquisite and gloriously British. He couldn't have had me more in stiches if he'd been the entire cast of Monty Python, Blackadder and Red Dwarf. He made me laugh and, my god, how I needed to laugh. Later, I went on to create a thread for poetry. Not having an outlet for my music, I resorted to poetry. Some of it was even decent (most of it was shite - I'm a better songwriter than I am a poet). I invited others to share poems of their own. What began as 'The Songmistress's Poetic Expressions' evolved into 'The Live Poets' Society'. Jamie was among the little troup of poets who shared verse, and he was my favourite of the group. One, because he had a grasp of what made good poetry (a lot of people didn't). Two, the way he wrote, the words he used, resonated with me. He wrote dark, ugly things, but in such a beautiful way. He wrote with passion and imagination and more than a little romance. But, it wasn't soppy. It wasn't predictable. Basically, it was worth the reading. After a little while, he and I began to chat outside of the board, on IM. We talked about collaborating on some poems. Turned out that he liked mine as much as I liked his. We both figured that since we both wrote in styles and themes that, while not identical, complemented each other, together we might come up with something really good. And, we did. He'd send me some lines and stanzas. I send him some. We'd write back and forth like that. We'd get a piece finished, then one or the other of us would post it on PI. After we had posted one of these collabs, I remarked (aloud...as in, on the board) that we were 'Two Pens, One Heart'. Before I knew it I had fallen. Shit and double shit! ----------------------------------------------------- to be continued....again....

No pressure then. The thing is, our story is REALLY long; even the Reader's Digest Condensed Version is long. And, part of the living out of this story is that I don't have as much time (energy or brain functionality) as I used to to sit in front of a screen and type. But, in a nutshell, in 2003, Jamie was sent an unsolicited book from his book club. He hadn't asked for the book and assumed it was a one off; he had no idea it was part of a much bigger series. He also had no idea what he was in for by choosing to keep the book and read it. The book was 'Pillars of Creation', most likely the worst and most annoying of Terry Goodkind's Sword of Truth Series. At about the same time, on the other side of the world, my best friend at the time shoved a book called Wizard's First Rule (the first book in the afore mentioned series) in my face and commanded me to read it. I did, and I was hooked. It needs to be said, I had little life outside of reading. Jamie read the book, and when he reached the end of it, realised there had to be more to this story, so he started to search out the rest of the books. At the beginning of July of that year, he found the official website for the series, Prophets Inc, and he joined up. A couple of weeks later I also joined Prophets Inc. By this time I had devoured all the books in the series that had been written to that point. I got on to the website, initially, just to find out when the next book would be out. I didn't know much about forums and posting on them. But, like the moth to the flame, yada yada yada, I dived in to the madness all the same. -------------- I'mma going to stop here for now. I'm going to have to do this in parts. As I say, I'm no longer in a place where I can sit for hours in front of screen. So...to be continued.

Thank YOU, @fantasymom. Glad you're enjoying these exceptional artists. I hope everyone who comes and listens here, and if they like anything they hear, will go and visit these folks' webpages and facebook pages and youtube channels and like and subscribe, etc. Today, I have something special for you. I heard this band last year when they came to perform at The Loughborough Acoustic Club as the special guests, and I was immediately and forever entranced. I give you the magnificent Oka Vanga and Song of the Dell.

Hmmm, if there's a 'Northland's Radio Station' now... mayhap I should change the name of this thread. Something like 'Songmistress's Indie Showcase'. Or, 'Songmistress's Best of British Indie'.... oh, where's that poll option? I could have a few choices of what to re-name this and people (the 3 that are actually interested in this thread) could vote. NO! This is NOT a fucking democracy, and I'm too ill to find the poll option anyway. If @hirondelle or @Timberwolf could, please, just rename the thread 'Songmistress's Best Of British Indie', that would be fab. Thank you muchly. Now, I'm going to collapse back into bed and you can listen to the brilliant Kenneth J. Nash...because he is pretty much the epitome of the best of British indie.

LOL. I am one of the easiest people on this board to find out what my voice sounds like...no phone (evil thing) needed.

Yes! That's Andy. He IS the vocal equivilent of bedroom eyes. I can't wait to tell him the next time I see him. I was supposed to go see him live yesterday, but I was too ill to make it. @Squarepeg went in my stead.

You lost me with 'e-book'. If I can't smell it, I don't read it. Book snob and proud.

I relate, @Aliea. Most days are a challenge to get out of bed. Some days are much worse than others. And, when you have kids, it makes it even more difficult, because you have to be there for them. The days when I can't function at all, I call them my 'I can't get there from here' days. I wrote a song about it (like I do of most of my issues, feelings, etc)...I obviously wrote the song on a functioning day. Being married is an extra challenge, as well. I am lucky to have a husband who is also a good carer, but it gets hard on him. It is difficult when our spouses see us in such pain. And, guilt then comes in. Depression isn't sadness. It's debilitating weariness. I am tired. Of everything. I have found mindfulness meditation helps on some days. Not on the worst days, but on the mid range days, I find some comfort there in the practice. Do you do anything like that?

Of course it is. I have excellent taste. Another interesting fact about Stevie Jones, who I posted day before yesterday, is that, not only is he a brilliant musician and songwriter, he has the coolest 'day job' ever. The man is an archaeologist. So, when he's not doing music, he is to be found in the field, trowel in hand, digging up old kings and stuff (he was one of the archaeologists who found King Richard under the carpark in Leicester). Stevie IS the awesome. Now. Some music is almost too achingly beautiful to hear. Some musicians remind us of what music really is. With technical grace, Melanie Page creates pure magic with her classical guitar (which she plays the classical way) and a voice so piercing and haunting, there is no where to hide. She leaves you bare and vulnerable and, where her music touches, nothing is ever the same again. I have never once seen her perform where jaws didn't drop, or where people weren't arrested where they stood or sat, nearly unable to breathe for the overwhelming power this woman commands on a stage. And, she does it without hype or gimmick. It's simply her and her classical guitar. Music, at it's best, is where science and magic meet. A pinpoint of perfect light. Melanie Page is a Magician whose science can penetrate the hardest heart, and remind us all what true talent is. I give you my beloved friend and collegue, Melanie Page and her track 'Upon The Wild' which was featured on BBC's Introducing Radio Show.