Tika

True

240

Is beautiful inside and out

Dilana - Beautiful Monster

Otherwise - Darker Side of the Moon

Thank you! In my defense that button is very tiny on my phone... lol

Pole

Quiet

Where... How... Help!?! lol

Well I was going to make a status update and then realised I don't know how to do that I'm just gonna get me some rocks and make pretty pictures on the cave wall now lol

I haven't tried that, I have problems getting my mind to be still, like, ever... I'll have to look into that

Out

Devil

Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong time. I felt kind of pretty when I got ready for work today so I took a selfie. Then when I looked at it I cringed (as I usually do). So I made it black and white and then I felt like I looked kind of pretty again. So I look ok in black and white, or in bad lightning. My body was made for another time too, for a time when women were softer, rounder. Maybe it's my German heritage but I was built to be a bar maid in lederhosen. Cleavage for days but hide the stomach and arms lol. Why are we all so critical of ourselves? I ask as I adjust my too short sleeves down over my upper arms for the 15 thousandth time tonight. I mean if we're healthy and happy and we can do everything we need to do why is it so awful that my arms aren't toned. I gave birth to 3 amazing human beings why do I absolutely hate my stomach and my stretch marks? Why do I always feel self conscious about my stomach or the fact that those 3 amazing humans separated my abdominal muscles so that I may always look a little pregnant? I wish I could just truly be comfortable in my own skin. Some days I love me but lately those days are few and far between. Most days lately I cringe when I see myself, or when I think about myself too much, and then I just want to hide in the dark cave that is my bedroom and not see or talk to anyone. But I guess I'll leave it at that, try to see myself through a softer lens... And maybe in black and white.

Yes! I'm not alone in the struggle lol. I felt like a cave person trying to make a video blog. And the forums are easier but I'm still super rusty.

236

White

Money

Also needs a vacation

I'm so tired today. I don't know it it's because I've only had 2 days off of work in the past 11 days (and they weren't in a row) or if it's stress or everything else going on in my life but I just can't function today. I didn't clean the house today, I didn't cook, I didn't really do much of anything. And I have to work tonight and tomorrow night. I just asked for and got a change in my schedule though so now I work 9 days every 2 weeks instead of 10 and I have 2 days in a row off once a week. So hopefully that will help. I just don't know how much longer I can go on like this... between work and kids and personal issues I'm just a mess lately. I need a vacation, or a night out to just forget about everything. But I can't afford to take a vacation and I've basically alienated all my friends here.

I've been through twice but I was on a school field though...

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