It's been a while and I promised myself I would post. Today I cant sleep so here I am posting.
I would like to say I am much better yet not at 100%. I can go to most places I used to and some new ones. Still crowded places and long trips give me anxiety. My therapist says I have been her best client and that it is crazy the way I approach things, let's say i jump in head first most times.
As i was getting better I had an accident which basically almost amputated the tip of my ring finger. I had to go to the hospital and later on get surgery. That entire week was the most anxious since the trip. However I have kept up with my excersises(long walks), prayer, and meditation which all have helped tremedously. Now I have a huge trip that I need to do, it is a 30 hour flight to the Phillipines where I have our call center and I feel like all progress I have made is for nothing because I cant make myself even purchase the plane tickets let alone look at the hotels. Therapist says I have all the tools just lack the confidence in myself. She as well as my wife are 100% confident that I can do this yet I am afraid to even take step one. Trying to work things out with my battle inside my head, let's see where this road takes me.