hirondelle

DO NOT THINK LIKE THIS!! OMG you got there, and you got your family there safely - well done you! That in itself is an amazing achievement. Remember everything you do you are modelling for your children. You want your kids to grow up and be able to take care of themselves... to judge when to push and when to say 'no more' and set a boundary. Today you modelled self care and limit setting. Let them in a little, be vulnerable. Who knows teaching them this may save their lives in the future - far more valuable that a fishing trip. You are an amazing father and husband - you have built your business out of nothing and fight so hard for them.

He is beautiful

You definitely can. Well done you for having a bit of an adventure today

Prayer helps as does meditation. Maybe your wife could benefit from a few therapy sessions too if you can afford it. Keep talking to each other and loving each other. Keep working at it. You are getting there.

I feel the negative effects very definitely. The act of scrolling aimlessly through newsfeeds. Endless chats. Excessive consumption of YouTube videos and news articles. Mindless casual gaming... My life reduced to a lit rectangle. I look up and find it hard to focus on the middle distance... Further than that is just a concept. But if I put my phone away for a day I start to remember who I am. I read books with pleasure, dream creative dreams, make plans. Social tech is the opium of the people and cell phones the delivery system. Northlands is okay though

Maybe we can go swimming together again?

would love to read a foxpoem

You know how sometimes you feel a feeling that is hard to explain? The other day I had a conversation with Dom that started with me longing to go back to the day Dom stepped off the plane and go through it all again appreciating everything more. Dom gave me a (textual) hug and reminded me that I appreciated everything plenty the first time around so I had nothing to regret / do better. And while I agree I also can't shake the longing... there were things I threw away that I should have saved and things I saved that I should have thrown away. I don't mean possessions. Well I don't only mean possessions. What I mean is: I wish I had watched less TV and read more books. I wish I had travelled more and spent more time in nature. I wish I had spent less money. I wish I had learned Thai properly. I wish I had had more conversations and sent fewer texts. I wish I had clung fiercely to The Northlands and the Northlanders, working harder to heal the wounds rather than tear them open wider. I wish I had never ever started a Facebook* and Instagram account and instead of hours wasted on them I wish I had continued my blog. I wish I had gone from vegetarian to vegan rather than omnivore. I wish I had laughed more and cried less. I wish I still could. *actually I don't regret joining facebook, but I wish I had deleted my account on the day I realised (fluff) friends was never coming back

Do you feel social media, texting and excessive screentime in general has a negative effect on your mental health? If so how? And what do you do about it?

Urgh I feel for you @Moonhawk I used to have anxiety related IBS and in the end I trained myself to empty everything in the morning before I went out and then I felt I was safe until I ate plus 2-3 hours or so. I can tell your situation is worse and I am not sure that training yourself to have vomiting and / or diarrhea at a specific time is a solution to anything (it is borderline bullimia let's be honest). Just sharing. Maybe try some alternative things like hypnotherapy at the same time as taking drugs?

Hey @MoonhawkI read this the other day at work and wanted to wait until the weekend to reply when I could read it again more thoroughly. I'm sorry you are (still) going through it and of course I wish I could help... Think of some advice or some mind blowing YouTube video or TED talk that will work a miracle for you. But obviously it isn't that simple. I'm glad you have a therapist... I also have a therapist I'm seeing for anxiety and depression though nothing like what you are going through. Maybe we can lure @Spyderin to comment as he has also suffered from anxiety in the past. Not sure how he dealt with it... Meds therapy or ultimate Frisbee Glad your business is taking off and your lovely wife is supporting you. You WILL get through this and we WILL be here cheering for you every step of the way. Love you Hawk boy.

OMG!

Also love the homoerotic fanfic / fanfuck

*huggles @PyroCJ* Hope you are feeling better!! Take good care of yourself while you heal

Thanks @fox it is good to know I am not alone! It is wonderful, and fascinating and horrible at the same time. Therapy makes you more aware but it also makes life more difficult. I realise I have spent a lot of time trying to be very accommodating, and deep down I want to change that and be more assertive. But also you worry that the people who love you won't love you (as much / in the same way / at all) if you are less accommodating. Also it means you are less fluffy and even a bit of an asshole at times. It is hard to maintain healthy boundaries and not be a bit of a dick on occasion... especially if it is new to you. So I have this inner war, and also some fears.

Welcome Clarissa!

Just about

Oh wow! I knew that you were married but how did I miss the babies update so cuuuutttteeee

Hey newbie - welcome home. How is life treating you?

Welcome home Mistress Raina - good to see you again, digitally speaking.

Is it working?

Circe by Madeline Miller