hirondelle

/ she awoke, suddenly and completely / she was in a strange room / a memory of a woman, or was it two? / confusion / who am I? / she sat up and looked around / her eyes reached around the room with her eyes for memories but noting came / head down she looked at herself / dark clothing / it was hard to look at / something exuded from it, something disgusting / / she wondered if she was a butcher or someone who worked in an abattoir because despite the obvious veneer of wealth her clothing reeked of death / who am I? am I guest here or is this my home? / compelled she rose and started to peel off the stinking clothing / hoping one of the rooms contained somewhere she might bathe / suddenly the most important thing in the world was too be clean /

welcome @Dweia good to 'see' you again

You are very wrong. I'm 47.

This is really cool @Mirbiggs I didn't know you were in a band. What did you play? Do you guys still play at all?

THis is just beautiful. Nothing else to say.

Getting caught on ma music (busy week) I loved this one. He has a pleasantly sibilant and... detailed voice. I know you generally don't like it when I compare people to other people but I don't have the vocabulary to articulate my feelings without referncing other musicians. When he sings it sounds like his is singing to me... a quality of the tone and lyrics that reminded me of Chris Rea. Different style of voice but similar intimate tone. Like bedroom eyes, but vocally.

I'm a couple of seasons and one book behind. At least one book I have lost track. Favourite characters are / were Tyrion and Oberyn. Also love The Hound.

Welcome lovely @Tika and exquisite @VelvetyOne so wonderful to wake up and find you both here. Also welcome @Cyrainwho registered but didn't post and needs to get in here so she can be thoroughly PUNISHED for her recalcitrance.

Hirondelle who had just spent hours smoothing her beautiful crow feathers until they were a uniform glossy black (with just the merest hint of purple when you observed them from a certain perfect angle) startled at the sudden clumsy arrival of an owl on a nearby branch. My word that is a ugly owl. With a sigh she ruffles and dishevels her own plumage so he doesn't feel as self-conscious and hops down to greet him. Good morning Sir Owl. From this vantage point she notes that two other creatures have arrived, familiar friends to the woods both.

Explosive diarrhea which

Have a lovely day at the office dear *pecks him on the cheek* (butt cheek)

Brave post @Redly I think it is easy to say that alcoholism is a disease but we still somehow hold people responsible for 'getting it' and if they get it for being unable to 'rid themselves' of it. And even while feeling that way it isn't black and white - some people find the strength to quit smoking while others smoke themselves to death, the same with booze or heroin or obese people who eat themselves to death. I know your dad's story was probably very complicated. He was able to be so strong professionally and apparently so weak privately. Maybe that was the price of his professional strength? A terrible price for his family to be sure. You mentioned a couple of times that your mum would be so ashamed if his alcoholism got out and a definitely agree that outing him (and therefore her) on your blog would be awful, but maybe she ultimately needs that to heal. That would be for you and her to decide, but I don't know... healing can come in many guises. Maybe she is protecting his reputation at the cost of her (and your peace). I think my dad killed himself too - indirectly. It wasn't drink it was bitterness and anger. I left my first husband (who dad adored) and moved in with Dom who dad initially hated. I don't think he really hated Dom - he was so blind with anger (at me) that he couldn't see Dom. He saw his stupid daughter who had left a quiet and shy gentleman for a loud American lout. By the time he realised how wrong he was, how much Dom and I loved each other, how beautiful Dom was inside and out he already had terminal cancer. I felt responsible, and guilty and angry for a long time. It still comes in waves. But I know it was his story and it was constructed entirely by him. I could have done things better, but I was living my story the best I could at the time too. All I am saying it we have so many ways to punish ourselves for our complex relationships with our parents (I could write so many essays on this haha), but ultimately we have to hold our love in a light open hand, not a clenched fist and let the negative elements fall through our fingers while retain the best part gently in our palm. None of this is advice, just my honest response. I am very grateful you shared this because I have struggled with my dad's death since before he died (as in I knew in advance it was going to mess with my head) in 2009. Your story helped me feel less alone, and move closer to healing... I hope in time I will be able to do the same for you. Tagging @Timberwolf because I mention him, and also because he has dealt with alcoholism in his family too.

*watching him from a high branch* eh I love that smiling wolf

I hope returning to the NL didn't exacerbate your anxiety @Phoenix. I know sometimes there is a fine line between being excited or stimulated by novelty and then getting all 'thinky' about it. The kind of thinky that turns into anxiety easily. Man I hate mental health issues. I hate that so many of you guys suffer from these things. I have anxiety issues too... but just light - it feels bad at the time but if I take care of myself it goes away. Like it is an alarm to remind me not to neglect ME! I am not bad enough to need meds or anything. The world seems so messed up now, I think it is making ppl sick. Love you both.

Congratulations on getting on to the property ladder DA, you will be a tycoon in no time! So glad to have you back! Happy posting.

That's awesome... Well done Richard! Where are you working now? Are you still doing photography on the side?

Oo we are glad you (and your avatar) is back too I am good FN, how are you? I think we need a big catch up

TPhIF! *snorts and coffee comes down her nose*

*Peeks around the door* is it Friday yet? *grins* you know I think it is *happy dance* good morning everyone! *makes a giant pot of thank phuk it's Friday coffee*

I know about it because it is all the rage here but it doesn't appeal to me because I'm old and grew up with a generation of women for whom Bruce Willis was the ideal man not Kim Soo Hyun. @Timberwolf's daughter is a big fan though.

Looks like he has @fantasymom. She is better than a pamphlet any day.

Wow those are fantastic I love them! Well done you

Oo pretty! Do you have an Etsy shop?

My nose is bleeding