fox

I think it's a baby steps game. Like. Not patronizing. I fucking LOVE (to a point of eat-it-every-day fault) ice cream. So I stopped buying it. (Mostly. I still SOMETIMES have it, but I keep it in the deep freeze downstairs.) But I feel you. I vastly prefer junk-y not-good-for-me food. But. I also have to cook and prepare food for one big and two small monsters. So. Good food it is! (It helps that the littler ones both have to bring lunch to care. I make my lunch at the same time, and that almost always works for me for staying on track. Almost. SOMETIMES I go out. For deep fried food.) Anyway. I digress. I think the want to change it and the understanding that it's fucking hard is a good first step, actually. It's not a flip of the switch, especially when food is an issue. It's hard. And you'll get there. Because Ultimate. Also hi @Spyder! It goes. Not so frozen yet. We're meant to get to 66F today, in almost October, so it's not terrible. How're you? Catch me up! <3

This has also been my day.

It's my favourite "doula thing." In every doula hat I wear, holding (and protecting) space is arguably the most important aspect of the "job." And yeah. NL is special. It always will be. This is, I think, why we all flock here so hard and so fast and with so much enthusiasm when it comes back. We don't always know we miss it until it's back and it's like a little piece of ourselves (sometimes our sanity) is restored. NL isn't an escape, it's a piece of home and home is goddamn rare.

OMG. LOVE. Those are beautiful. Well done.

Yes yes yes yes yes. Yes. YES. Sorry. Excitement. Get this done so we can get it published. (And then book a world-wide book tour. ...and stop at the indie shop here. kthnx!) Writing. HAH! Ugh. So not something I've been doing. But! I have to write a reading analysis for class this week, and a research paper that I'm nervous and thrilled about, so at least there's something happening, even if it's academic. (The class is The History of Childbirth and Women's Bodies. Because of course it is.) That typed, I also have a short personal essay in mind. MAYBE. I mean, it's one of dozens that have never been written. AND a fiction idea I'd had a decade or more ago re-surfaced the other day, with really great character motivation that I'd been missing/vexed about. So there's that. (The essay is relationship-y in nature and the fiction revolves around change and growth as it pertains to a teenager. BUT the character development was in her aunt, who is arguably my favourite character anyway, and why she would end her relationship with a "good man" by cheating on him. I couldn't figure it out. Until now.) So. If nothing else, at least I'm thinking about writing again. (I mean the essay will happen, because I'll fail the class if it doesn't. The personal essay and/or fiction may not. But...so it goes.... )

ON THAT NOTE. (Thank you for posting your outstanding achievement (unlocked), @Kenai. It made me create a(nother) thread. Because I like to create threads.) What are your (physical) health and fitness goals? I have also hit a goal weight (through changes in eating habits and increased movement...and maybe a LITTLE bit because of depression. But mostly the first two), and now I want to get back into a schedule of at least three days a week at the gym (I go at lunch - my facility is on campus). I have some help lined up to learn how to use strength machines, because I have cardio under control and almost literally no idea how to use/incorporate strength training (though I understand exactly how important it is in overall health and fitness to pair with cardio). Also, we had a vet appointment this weekend and the dog has lost weight (she was meant to), which means our walking schedule is on point. w00t.

Oh beautiful soul. I get that. Hard. I get that so hard that it hurts. It hurts because it fucking hurts. Because thinking those things and feeling that way is awful and it makes you wish awful things. But you're human and you're thinking those things and feeling that way because you're human. And you have shit to deal with. And when you have shit to deal with, it scatters everything. At least, that's been my 2017. And it's been a goddamn doozy. And I've had those thoughts and I've felt those feelings. Not exactly, I don't mean to trivialize or lessen or take over. I just want you to know you're not alone. In any way. Even when you are and you're having thoughts that you are unique to you, we're here. I'm here. You always have us, and now you REALLY have us (again). Even if you just need us to hold the space for you to be you and honour your Self, we're here. Steadfast, quiet, without judgement, and with hugs and love and support. You're a beautiful, brave, loving human. Your family is beyond blessed to have you. Sometimes the days are long and heavy. But you're still choosing to move forward and you're taking those steps and that's what's important. (imo.) Send me a line if you want/need, lovely. Anytime. (I'm shit at keeping in touch, but I'm trying to be better.)

Ooh. Lemme see.... @Lightningfall! It does! Great. Thank you. And no news can be good news, my friend. Same track, same pace is a good place to be. Any writing being done?

This place. I'M AT WORK. All I want to do is check, refresh, check, refresh, post, read, check, refresh. Good grief. ...I'm weak.

I can't use the "@" thing to save my life. Ever. Technology and I are increasingly less friendly. I want a typewriter.

Thank you Kethlia! <3 Hah. Not bad thanks, LF. Busy. But mostly good busy. Just got off of second mat leave this summer, back to full-time work, taking two (undergrad) classes, and considering graduate studies. w00t. You? What's new?

Also this. Yes.

lawl. But also yes. I'm glorifying the culture of busy guys - I ain't got time for that shit. If you want to chat, start a conversation/ask a question/speak your piece. Don't just "hi" me, it makes me annoyed.

Secrets of Women: Gender, Generation, and the Origins of Human Dissection by Katherine Park. For class. Haha. It's a baller class.

Awh! Hey honey - how are you? It really has been. I'm shit at keeping in touch. ESPECIALLY now. Good grief, that life-y life.

Wow lady! That's outstanding. Great job! You have every right to brag and be proud of yourself, that's a huge accomplishment!

Also. Loving the images so far. Rockin' pieces, folks. <3

I'll get to this someday too (the posting, not the ink. I have that. But. I mean MOAR ink, obvs. Always). Current collection: fox on back, words on wrist, dragonfly on calf, crow on arm (in progress), crows on back (not yet started, but part of the arm crow. It's a series/piece. It'll take some time), books and dragon on other calf (also not started, but the appoitment's booked for November). Ima be the GD tattooed fox. Because fuck it. I have skin and I love ink. Let's get 'er done.

Guys. I do not have the time to make to tell you individually how awesome it is to see you, so Ima say it here. HI EVERYONE, WELCOME HOME! Thanks for a new NL (AGAIN), Wolf and goddess. It's good to be home, among family again. xo

Awh. You guys. <3 All the love. Always. Thank you! So good to be here. So amazing to see all you wonderful folks.

I'm more excited about this being back than I would have thought. Thanks guys. Really, actually. I think I really need this. I hope I can make proper time for it. So. How're things? <3