fox

Because life can be just fucking...blah. People have it worse and my issues aren't insurmountable. But fuck. Just. This is shitty and I don't love it one bit.

A doe birthed twin fawns in the garden on campus today. I got to see a less than 24h old fawn this morning. I'm just so jazzed. Still. That momma - amazing creature. (I'm so in my doula spot right now. It's incredible. Birth is incredible.)

Inconsiderate, thoughtless, selfish (in a shitty way) behaviour. Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck off. (I #ragebaked PB cookies to combat this feeling. It worked. Clearly baking IS my Zen activity.)

Oh. Wow. What a beautiful new human. Congratulations, Biggs. She's amazing.

Yes yes! Love. Purdy!

Legit loling. Because TR00! ...and also I just picked up the first Harry Dresden book to read for the (I think) third time. Because I NEED FICTION NAO.

Hold Me Tight (Johnson) The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work (Gottman)

LOVE the wolf and corvid icon/logo/image at the top. Like. A LOT. Fucking rad. And stunning.

Bates Motel

Deadpool 2

Just finished Glory by Gillian Wigmore (local author). First fiction book I've finished in a LONG time and it was outstanding and important (to me).

Hah. Touché. ...whiskey....

Rye.

Mindhunter and Fargo, with Punisher waiting in the wings, and excitement for Jessica Jones S2.

Jurassic World (on Netflix). I heckled the screen. ...a lot....

I r late, 2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BEAUTIFUL HUMAN! I hope you had a marvelous everything.

You. Just love. So very much love. And cuddles. And tea/coffee. And quiet, peaceful, screamifyouneedit love.

So sorry, FM. <3 Lots of love. I hope you and your loved ones are finding peace and love and whatever you need at this time.

MERRY CHRISTMAS! And happy everything else you celebrate! Because I have people who don't celebrate Christmas. For them it was Happy Monday, but hey - even that's worth celebrating. Seriously though. I'm late to the party on this (it's been a year guys. A goddamn year), but I truly hope you all had a beautiful December 25th (and weekend before, and week before that, and month before that, and year before that, and life in general)! <3 AND I hope you have an awesome rest of 2017. And fuck do I wish you a phenomenal 2018. It seems like just about everyone I know needs a good goddamn new year.

Give them a hug. If yours are anything like mine, they relish the opportunity to give love to their momma, and sometimes you don't even need to tell them why. And if you do, it's just because you're sad and need some love, sometimes they just need to know that, too. It's okay to be sad. You can give them reasons when you're ready. As for the love and words, that's a lot. A lot a lot. It's what you have, it's genuine, it's from your soul. I understand feeling useless, but you're not. Being there, thinking thoughts, and being a place they know they can come for words or with words, is a lot.

It's FAIRLY stereotypical, but the births of my boys were mine. For the eldest, it was that moment, in transition, when I literally said "this is really fucking cool," just before his delivery. For the littlest, it was the entire (incredibly fucking fast) labour and delivery (except the back labour. NOT a good feeling). I caught him, and cut his chord. It was incredible. I need to note here that it's not JUST because that's when I met my boys, which is, of course, glorious. But, almost more importantly (for me), it's when I recognized the primal, vicious strength I possess. I learned to completely let go in those moments (I am a BIT of a control freak), and it was fucking stunning. (Please note: I am NOT one of those orgasmic birth folks. It hurt. A lot. )

Oh. Sugar. I'm sorry. First, that's awful and sad and all of the things. Secondly, what a shitty (though fascinating) way to discover that news. I hope your aunty is being well taken care of. And I hope you can connect with her and your family in any way you need or want at this time. Lots and lots of love, beautiful. /Hugs.

I love live music. Concerts make me happy. I don't know what The Best was. But I have seen KISS (twice), which was outstanding (the Vancouver show was better than the local one, but it was amazing to see them here), and AC/DC (also twice. The first time, in Tacoma, was outstanding. Maybe, actually, my best concert experience. Because it was AC/DC and we had phenomenal seats in a fairly intimate atmosphere). Ohhhhhhhhhhh...Apocalyptica in the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver was breathtaking. ...it's hard to pick, guys. I LOVE concerts.

Three new writing ideas. I have no idea if I'll make time for any of them, but having real writing ideas (as opposed to work-related promotion/ad writing ideas) is really lovely.